Page 116 of Luci’s Lullaby

“Hey, Charlee. When do you get off?” Lynn, a lady I work with asks.

“Four, and it won’t be soon enough.”

She smiles. “You look tired, that’s why I was asking.”

“I am tired.” I was up all night worried about Luci. Reese finally texted me around three this morning to say she was okay and on her way home.

“How is your baby doing?” she asks. Lynn hasn’t been here long, and she has no idea Luci isn’t mine.

I shrug. “Good, she took a spill last night, rolled off the bed.”

“Oh, sweetie. Now don’t you go blaming yourself. We’ve all had something happen as mothers. Once they start rolling, crawling, or walking, it’s ‘Katy bar the door’.” She pats my hand. “We’re all bumped and bruised in some way.”

Her words bring me up short. Alden may be more bumped and bruised than all of us. “You’re right. Thank you, Lynn.”

“You’re welcome, honey.” She winks. “Parents need to stop beating each other up. We’ve all made mistakes.”

She throws a left, then a right. “True. Then we add in a relationship, and it all goes crazy.”

“Love is love. If it’s there, you gotta work for it. Besides, do any of us want it if it’s easy? That will make you question if it’s real.” She turns after landing her knock-out blow.

“Hey, Lynn.” She turns. “Care if I clock out early. I need to go see someone.”

“Not at all.” I embrace her. “Make sure he knows how much you love him.”

“Thank you.” I cash out and race from the store.

Alden’s place is just around the corner from here, so I try not to speed over there like a fool. I turn into the complex and take a right. As I get to his place, I slow down, making sure I’m right.

“Where in the hell are y’all.” I whip around, heading straight to Reese’s.

I turn onto the drive and pass Riley and Ava’s; no one is there. As I creep up on Reese’s, I see several cars and trucks. Fear cripples me at the thought of something may have happened to Luci after all.

I park my car and hurry up the steps. I knock on the door as my heart pounds harder. Walker walks to me, calling over his shoulder, “Charlee’s here.” He opens the door, his forehead creased.

“What’s wrong?”

Reese rounds the corner, her eyes red and wet. “He’s gone, Charlee.”

My ears ring as all the air from my lungs dissipates. “Come again? Who’s gone and why?” I know the answers. I need someone else to confirm them.

“Alden. He got up this morning, said he wasn’t good for Luci, and left.” She’s wracked with grief; it’s as though someone died. Little did I know, it was going to me.

My knees buckle, and I fall to the floor before Walker can get to me. I sit there, in a daze, trying to hold on but can’t. I’m caught in this subparallel third world of hell called life.

I sit on the outside and watch it all play out in slow motion. Shock keeping the tears at bay, disbelief clouding my vision. Guilt, for any part I may have played. Worry, for where this trodden on soul may end up.

No matter what anyone thinks of Alden, he’s a good man. He’s just lost his way and sometimes, it takes others longer to find their way back. Back to where they belong, to where they’re loved.

“Charlee?” Walker is on his knees in front of me, calling my name as I spiral into nothingness. “Sweetie, can you hear me?”

I nod, words escaping me as my mind searches for how it all went wrong. It’s not until Reese dries my face do I realize I’m crying. There’s it is, just when I thought I had nothing left to lose.

I’ve lost him.

I gasp for air as I forget how to breathe. I suppose when your heart stops beating, your body ceases all natural reflexes. I really don’t want to fall apart, but I’m so lost in the love I have for him, I can’t stop it.

Until Luci.