Page 34 of Changing Lanes

The passing days bring more tears, more hate, more anger. Even when I would find a calm moment, the realization he hasn’t called reminds me it’s all too real. If I ever doubted it to be true, him not calling or texting confirms it.

I fight with myself to call him, to send a text. My heart needs definite proof, he’s not coming back. It needs to know this isn’t just a nightmare, it’s my reality. Late into the night, I break. With tears in my eyes, I text him. I wait, watching my phone for any sign of him.

The hours pass along with every shred of self-preservation I have left. After six hours of waiting on a reply, I call his number. It rings, finally going to voicemail, and I hang up.

I sit there, crying. The disdain he supposedly harbored for my father is nothing compared to his dismantling of my heart. The destruction in the wake of his betrayal will change me, but right now, I can’t tell that to my heart. I still love him.

I fall into a black hole, crying from the minute I wake until I pass out. By the following Monday, I’ve pulled myself together. I’ve made some crucial decisions about my life and begin my bid to take over my future company, Harrington Holdings. Tuesday starts with an email to Mr. Harrington.

Mr. Harrington,

I will be hiring a personal assistant as I begin fast-tracking my graduation. I met with my counselor yesterday and arranged the class schedule. I will receive my degree in a year and a half. Please be advised, I’ll be asking her to paid from my account herewith.

T.H

Wednesday my stomach turns flips at the thought of seeing Brannon in class, we have several classes together this semester. I scan the room at the top of the stairs, but I don’t see him anywhere. My so-called friends wave from across the room, I turn my head, pretending I don’t see them as I take a seat next to the door for a fast exit.

Brannon is a no show. Again, on Friday he hasn’t been seen. I text my mother, asking her to use my father’s resources to check on Brannon. Not that I care, I just need to know. Later in the afternoon, I receive a text from my mother. “Torrie, can you call me please?” I dial her immediately.

“Torrie?” Who the hell does she think it is?

“Yes. What?” Agitated I have to speak to her this soon.

“Brannon’s left Virginia.” Her voice cracks on his name followed by a sniffle. “I’m sorry, baby.”

“It’s fine. I just didn’t want to run into him.” My lips tremble as I speak. “Umm, don’t tell him. He’s done enough, he doesn’t get to gloat also.”

“I won’t.” Her breathing is fast, she’s nervous. “And, Torrie… I’m sorry I didn’t stop him.”

“He’s had all the time in the world to make it right, he’s gone now,” I answer as I hang my head in defeat.

“I meant your father.” Her words waver, she sounds as hopeless as I am.

That’s it, he’s gone. I can’t seem to reason with my heart, it refuses to listen.

Some would say, I was strong in this moment. It’s simply not true. I’m beyond repair. My heart will never be the same. As I was getting my shit together, I noticed I had missed my Depo shot, again, another mistake. Above all, the last thing I want to do is to pick up a pregnancy test. Brannon will always own a piece of me. What’s left are the things he and my father broke. My trust. My morals. My belief everyone deserves love. A love which will withstand every storm, lasting a lifetime.