Page 76 of Ardently Yours

But when I look at him now, I see that we are not those kids anymore. I’m not the same girl I was. I’m not in love with him. He is not my person anymore.

He asks, “Why did you tell me to come?”

“I think I just needed to remember who I am and who I’m not anymore. To finally say goodbye to you and the old me.”

Silence settles between us. A late afternoon rain shower is the only thing I hear as the drops hit the cafe windows. Thunder rumbles in the distance.

Lightning flashes, making the windows glow. People pass by the closed cafe in a hurry, holding tightly to their umbrellas as they rush to get out of the rain.

Billie breaks the silence first. “I came back because I missed you. It was selfish of me to leave. I should have told you. I should have told you I was scared to love you for real.”

His words stick out to me. Scared to love. Sound familiar?

I want to laugh out loud, but I can’t seem to get the laugh out of my mind and into my mouth. I just shake my head slightly, looking around the cafe.

The cafe. The place I come to serve others. To make money. To be with friends. To see the man I love...

But when I look up, I don’t see the man I love. I just see Billie sitting across from me.

“I’m not in love with you anymore, Billie.” I say it aloud because the truth hurts. I see how he winces. But it’s better than lying to each other. “I loved you once. But we’re not the same people we were back then. I was mad at you. I’ve been scared to love too. And I didn’t even realize it. But now... I’m ready.”

“And I just happened to be too late,” he says, more to himself than to me.

“Yeah,” I laugh humorlessly, nodding. “And for the record, I’m sorry for getting your hopes up. I think we both know that our time has passed, and it’s time to let go. For both of us.”

I smile weakly at him, but I mean it. I held on to him for so long and didn’t even realize I had. I held on to him leaving, and my love turned to resentment. I let it fester.

Looking at him now, I can finally let it go. I glance out the window and watch the sun peak through the clouds as it rains. The sunshine makes my smile widen, and I finally feel like I’m shining too.

It’s a new day. A new season for me. It’s time to move on. To let go. To love again.

I say goodbye to Billie, knowing this time will be the last time. He tells me goodbye too, saying he’s headed to Chicago to stay for good, where his new life is already in motion. When I watch him leave the cafe, I don’t feel sad.

My phone buzzes as I close the cafe door and lock it. When I pull my phone out of my pocket and glance at the screen, I see messages from the crew group chat.

Nic: Hey, Lizzie, is everything okay?

Jane: Yes, please check in. Not trying to be a stalker, but I can see your location, and I see you’re back in town.

Me: That is pretty stalkerish, but I love you both. LOL.

Nic: Well, you shouldn’t have shared your location with us if you didn’t want us to see it. Now, are you back in town or is your location glitching?

Me: Of course I’m back. I wouldn’t miss the wedding of the century.

Nic: Aww, thanks, girl. How is Will and his family? His dad?

Jane: Yes, we’ve been praying.

Me: I left him in Chicago... but last time I checked, he was going to see his dad since he was finally waking up.

Nic: You left Will in Chicago?

Me: Kinda.

Jane: Why???

Me: Long story, kid.