Page 28 of Every Eligible Man

He's right. I know he's right. The way she looked at us, the way she screamed after us, that's not a woman who's going to shrug and move on.

That's a woman on a mission.

"And when she does," Ash continues, allowing himself a small, satisfied smile, "we'll be ready."

From the direction of the castle, the final chimes of midnight fade.

The rats emerge from various pockets and hiding spots, looking bedraggled but triumphant.

"That," Squeak announces, "was the greatest night in the history of nights. We are legends. We are Gods."

"We lost a ferret," Nibbles points out.

"Gerald knew the risks when he signed up for this mission!"

"Gerald didn't sign up! Gerald just wanted to steal a candlestick!"

One-Eye sighs the sigh of a thousand exhausted years. "Walk. Now. Before I abandon all of you and move to a quieter kingdom."

Slade offers me a hand. I take it, letting him pull me up. Susan relocates from my head to my shoulder, still making sad little noises.

"Hey," I say to her, scratching behind her ear. "We'll get him back. I promise."

She chitters mournfully.

"I know. I miss him too."

The three of us, limping, disheveled, and deeply satisfied despite everything, begin the long trudge back to Grimwald Acres.

Behind us, the castle glows in the distance. Inside it, a lady is clutching a boot, a glove, and a very confused ferret.

"Hey Ash?" I say, trudging through a muddy field.

"Yeah?"

"When she finds us, and she will, do you think she'll be mad?"

Ash thinks about it. Really thinks. I can see him replaying the night, the way she demanded more, the way she clawed at us, the way she screamed our names.

"I think she'll be furious," he says finally. "And then I think she'll jump us."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

I brighten. Just a little.

Gerald's sacrifice was worth it.

...Okay, I can't actually commit to that thought. I'm still devastated. But at least there's a light at the end of this tunnel. A beautiful, angry, sexually insatiable light.

From my shoulder, Susan chitters something sharp.

"Susan says Gerald's sacrifice wasn't worth it."

"Susan needs to see the bigger picture."

"Susan says the bigger picture can go fuck itself."