Page 4 of One Adult, Please

"Hi, Mom. I'm fine. I'm safe. I'm at WonderSphere."

"Grace, why are you at a theme park during a…"

"It has walls, Mom. Big ones. And a roof. Multiple roofs. I'm behind walls and roofs and I have water and snacks and a foam stabby fork."

"A foam what?"

"It's a weapon."

She pauses. I hear her TV in the background, the low murmur of a news anchor saying things I don't want to hear from this end of the phone.

"Is Biscuit okay?" I ask.

"Biscuit's sitting on the remote and I can't change the channel and I've been watching the same coverage for an hour because the cat won't move."

"Don't move the cat. Let her have the remote. She's stressed."

"She's stressed? Grace, I'm watching buildings…"

"Mom, are you safe?"

"I'm home. Doors are locked. Mrs. Patterson from next door came over with her little dog and a casserole, so apparently this is a casserole situation."

"Stay with Mrs. Patterson and eat the casserole and don't open the door for anyone who isn't Mrs. Patterson."

"Grace."

"Mom, I'm fine. I promise. I'm in possibly the safest building in the county. It was built to hold sixty thousand people and right now it's holding maybe a few hundred, so mathematically I'm crushing this emergency."

She's quiet for a second. "Are you wearing a jacket? They keep those places freezing."

I look down at the sweatshirt in my hand. It's a WonderSphere hoodie, navy blue, size large because they didn't have my size and swimming in fabric is better than shivering. It has Wondie on the front doing finger guns.

"I'm getting one right now, Mom."

"Get an extra one. You always underestimate how cold you get."

"Okay, Mom."

"And something to eat that isn't just sugar."

"I have trail mix."

"Real food, Grace."

"Trail mix is real food, it has raisins, raisins are a fruit."

"Raisins are a disappointment, get something with protein."

I pull another sweatshirt off the rack. It's light pink with a sparkly Wondie giving a peace sign. I put it in the tote bag. When this is over, my mother is getting a WonderSphere sweatshirt whether she wants one or not.

I also grab a snow globe from the display by the register. It's got a little WonderSphere castle inside and nothing bad happens inside snow globes. Mom collects them. Has a whole shelf. She'll need a new one after this.

"Mom, I have to go. My phone's dying."

"Call me when you can charge it. I love you. Be careful. Don't trip."

She says that every time I leave anywhere. Don't trip. Like it's a choice.