Page 50 of The Discount Damsel

“Oh, you should definitely be impressed.” The luck dragon preened. “Snapped that rope in one chomp, I did.”

“Now that we’ve all been introduced, let’s return to the main topic at hand, shall we?” Her arm still linked with Sir Roger’s, Millie propelled him forward towards her blackboard.

Dirk swirled close to inspect the training topics. “Hmm, I can teach you all you need to know about weather interpretation, Millie,” he offered, “and why, other than the swashbuckling, Br⁠—”

Bradley flicked the dragon before he could volunteer the apprentice to be the princess’s tutor. She already took up way too much of his precious time, and his past as a fisherman on the Cut was to stay in his past.

The baby dragon rubbed his bruised scales as he narrowed a sour expression at Bradley. “Don’t forget a course on general thieving, Millie,” he suggested. “I bet a lot of pirates begin as pickpockets.”

“Excellent suggestion, Master Dirk.” Millie quickly added Thieving & General Sneakiness to the bottom of the list and replaced the chalk on its ledge. Clasping her hands in front of her, she said, “Now, Sir Roger, I do believe I can list you as the instructor for Swashbuckling 101 and most likely Swashbuckling 201, correct? That is to say, knights don’t live to reach old age unless they are very good at what they do. Are you competent in any of these other fields as well?”

“Not particularly, Your Highness, but⁠—”

“Millie, please,” she insisted.

“Miss,” he counter-proposed, to which the princess inclined her head in acquiescence.

“Excellent.” She wrote his name beside the two Swashbuckling topics and replaced the chalk. “Congratulations on becoming the first in my talent stable! We will begin tomorrow after⁠—”

“Your what?”

“Talent stable. I’m not sure what else to call a collection of instructors. Tutors, I suppose, but I never truly liked any of my tutors growing up, and I daresay I like you. And ‘harem’ has salacious connotations, and I am certainly not in need of that kind of training. Though”—she tapped her chin—“there always seems to be a sensuality about pirates, at least in their legends, so perhaps it is an area I must explore eventually.”

“Gimme the chalk,” the baby dragon said. “I’ll write Seduction 101 for you.”

“Now hold on here.” Sir Roger shooed Dirk away from the blackboard and rubbed out his name. “Miss Mille, I told you before, I cannot train you. I am still bound to Baron Demir Oremaster.”

Millie’s smile was as mischievous a goblin’s who’d just nicked a bottle of top-shelf bourbon. “Oh, but you can, Sir Roger, because you are a hedge knight under the governance of the Knightly Code of Conduct.”

“Exactly! Which means until I sever my oath to Baron Demir with words and blood, I am not free. I must do all in my power to rescue you from this dragon and bring you to him, whether that is the fate I wish for you or not.”

“You are forgetting Section Three of the Knightly Code of Conduct, Sir, the one pertaining to life debts.” She swept a hand towards Dirk. “This dragon saved your life when you fell to what would’ve been your death if he hadn’t interfered.”

“He was the one who snapped the rope to begin with!”

“Section Three says nothing about what causes the death-inducing incident; it merely governs what happens after. The fact that Master Dirk’s actions both imperiled and saved your life are of no consequence.”

“Dumb luck and powder sand saved me. Unless you’re telling me that dragon commands the air itself.”

“Technically the wind,” Dirk clarified. “But also the rain. Water in general, if you want to be precise, but ‘dragon of the wind and rain’ sounds far more poetic. My mastery over those elements slowed your heart and lungs to be undetectable by Sir Eustace, who declared you dead. At this very moment, he believes I’ve got you roasting on the barbecue. Which I would never,” the little dragon assured the knight. “I’m a pescatarian. But I love me eat a cricket now and then. So crunchy.”

Sir Roger blinked, baffled for the third time that morning.

“So,” the luck dragon concluded, “your life belongs to me until I release you of your obligation or certify it fulfilled. It will be fulfilled when you finish training my princess in Swashbuckling 101 and 201.”

Millie shook her head frantically, and the little dragon quickly amended, “Swashbuckling 101, 201, and anything else she desires of you. Basically just do what she says for however long she wants.”

The hedge knight sputtered, “This, this is extortion of some kind.”

Dirk grinned. “I happen to be an expert in the subject. You start training Millie tomorrow.”

“What kind of dragon are you?”

Bradley cleared his throat, a prompt for the luck dragon and a warning for the hedge knight to not press the issue. Dirk swirled to his friend’s shoulders and layered upon them like a lounging cat, increasing the distance between him and a potential threat that the sorcerer apprentice would deal with. While he didn’t have access to his magic, Bradley had still been born and raised on the Cut, and that was experience and training that would never fade.

Sir Roger’s bright eyes tracked the movement and noted the steely expression on Bradley’s face. “Sorcerer apprentice, resident grouch, and dragon bodyguard, eh? You talk at all?”

“No,” Bradley answered.