Page 140 of The Discount Damsel

“What are you doing in here?” the little dragon asked crossly. He uncoiled from the warhammer and rubbed the crust from his eyes.

“You nearly bit me!”

“And you woke a sleeping dragon, you idiot. I’d say you deserve whatever consequences that stupidity entails.” Dirk yawned and lifted sluggishly into the air. “Did I miss Sir Eustace’s bugle? Is there another Hero who needs a healthy dose of fear injected into his bladder? I’ve grown quite fond of the stench of urine as of late.”

“No to the bugle and yes to the Hero.”

“I’ll just get my satchel!”

“It’s Sir Beauregard.”

Dirk looked up from where he’d been rooting around for an amplio spell. “Beau?”

“He’s got to go.”

“Why?”

“Just do it, Dirk. For me.”

The Mini Red abandoned his satchel and flew close, resting a paw on his friend’s shoulder. His yellow eyes marked every stress line in the apprentice’s face. “What happened?”

“Don’t ask me that. Will you do it?”

“Of course. Tonight.”

“Thank you.” Bradley released a loud exhale, but the tension still clung to him like a starving tick.

“I’ll, uh, need some extra indurus spells, though.” Dirk clicked his claws together in that nervous habit of his. “I haven’t carried two knights that far before.”

“I’ll write them right now.” Bradley headed for the door. “How many do you need?”

“Well, since you interrupted my nap . . . six? J-just to be safe. Beau’s a big knight.”

“Absolutely.”

“Really? I mean, thanks.”

“It’s no trouble.” The apprentice paused on the landing. “And if the princess asks, you only did as I told you as a Designated Sorcerer Companion.”

Dirk snapped his claws. “Direct all complaints to you, got it. You know Millie’s gonna be pissed, right, that you dismissed one of her tutors without her permission?”

Bradley’s grin was feral, teeth gleaming in the purple glow of the stairwell’s crystals. If the princess wanted to get a rise out of him, she’d get it. “I’m counting on it.”

CHAPTER 57

LIGHT BONDAGE IN THE KITCHEN, AND BRADLEY’S HYGIENE IS CALLED INTO QUESTION

The knife sank into the wooden target with a satisfying thunk. Millie straightened from her throw and waggled her eyebrows at the hedge knight. “Impressed?”

“That you hit a stationary target in a controlled environment with zero distractions? I am over the moon.”

She stuck her tongue out at him and went to collect her blades. “Baby steps, Sir Roger.”

“Tomorrow you get to skip.” He handed her the waterskin. “You’ll try hitting it when you’re moving. Then we’ll get that lazy bag of dragon bones in here to blow the target around. You both could benefit from precision work.”

The waterskin paused halfway in its journey to her mouth. “‘Lazy bag of dragon bones?’ It’s not like you to sound so derisive about Dirk.”

“It’s not every day that dragon sneaks into the dungeon and steals one of us from our beds, either.”