Page 77 of Damián

“Thank you,” I say, as I notice a pile of ingredients scattered across one of the stainless steel counters. “Need help with anything else?”

“Nae, that’s okay. We can head out front now.”

“Are you sure? I can help you bake the cookies.”

“Nae bloody way.” Finni literally jumps in front of me, spreading his arms to physically shield the counter. “Last time a Harknett ‘helped’ with ma cookies, he ate half the dough.”

I burst out laughing. “It was Leif, wasn’t it?”

“It was…” Finni groans.

“I mean, that’s kind of on you for letting him anywhere near Fika food.”

“Aye, I had that coming.” He makes a shooing motion with his hands, herding me out of the room. “Come on, everything is already in the ovens anyway. Let’s get you a coffee with ten spoons of sugar so you can tell me why on earth you’re awake before nine.”

So, with my caramel coffee in hand and a delicious Lord of the Scones pastry, I tell Finnian absolutely everything that’s been going on these past days.

Finni stares at me, his mouth literally hanging open.

“Ooft!… When I told you to be careful nae to get hurt, I didnae think it would take you a few days.”

“I’m not hurt. I’m… confused.”

“How so?”

“I’ve never felt—” I press my hand over the strange, hollow pit in my chest. “—whatever this is. I don’t understand it, and I don’t understand him. For over a month, he’s been great, and now he is acting like—”

“Like you?” Finni interrupts. He’s acting exactly like you do with every person you’ve ever shagged. Only this is the first time you’ve been in their seat.”

I open my mouth to deny it, but absolutely nothing comes out.

“Then put yourself in his shoes. If he is acting like you, what would you be doing days after ignoring a former squeeze?”

“A former squeeze?” I grin at how fucking gunny that sounds.

“Aye, a bloody hookup or old flame of yours. Whatever you wanna call it.”

And fuck…

I would already be sleeping with someone else.

My entire body turns cold, and my head starts to spin.

Is he with someone else right now? Is that why he’s not texting me?

Just thinking about it makes me angry and makes me want to punch a wall or just fucking scream.

“Shite…” Finni says, reading the realization right off my face.

“Don’t give me that fucking look, Finnian. I am annoyed because I’ve never had a blackout like this in the middle of a mission. Like, ¿quién mierda receives that level of intel and just disappears?”

“True… But you’re also worried he’s with someone else. Aren’t you?”

“He wouldn’t be. This mission, what we are doing… it can end everything and save millions,” I argue, not knowing if I’m trying to convince Finni or myself.

“Aye, but according to Alexios, Oliver has been gathering intel and helping others for years while still shagging whoever, and as many as he wants.”

“That was before. Now we are in this together, and he is smarter than that.”