Page 91 of Have To Be Mine

“Thanks, Mom.”

She was radiant with pride. She kept looking at me like I’d just won an Olympic medal instead of coordinating a runway show. It should have felt good. It should have meant something. Instead, it felt hollow.

“The columns are perfect,” Elizabeth said, gesturing with her fork. “The way they frame the runway without overwhelming it. And that fabric? Sebastian is going to lose his mind.”

“It’s really well done,” Adrian agreed. “You took his vision and executed it flawlessly. That’s not easy to do. Good work.”

“The lighting is genius,” Briggs added. “That sunset window is going to be incredible on camera.”

I nodded, accepting the compliments, but they washed over me like white noise. I had been chasing my family approval for so long, but for some reason, there was only one person whose opinion I actually cared about right then, and she’d made it clear we were done. Everything else felt like participation trophies.

Well, I supposed there was one other person whose opinion I cared about, but I would never hear praise from him. He hadn’t lived long enough for me to get my shit together.

Dad would have loved this. He would have pointed out the details and he would notice every little thing. When I inspected that runway today, I had looked at it through his eyes. He would have clapped me on the shoulder and said something like, “This is good work, son. Real good work.”

Or so I hoped, anyway.

I shoved that thought down before it made me sad. Sadder than I already was. I didn’t have time to dwell on it. I had a show to run tomorrow, and I needed to stay focused. I blamed Krista. She opened that box of feelings I kept locked tight and now they were all over the place.

Bucky started banging his spoon on his highchair tray, shrieking with delight at the noise he was making. The entire restaurant turned to look at us.

“Buckaroo, let’s save the drum solo for later,” Adrian said, but he was smiling.

Bucky responded by banging louder.

“He’s got your subtle touch,” I told Adrian.

“Ha. He gets that from his mother.”

Elizabeth threw a piece of bread at him.

I watched them, this little family unit that seemed so effortless. Bucky grabbed a different piece of bread with his chubby fist and shoved it in his mouth. He was a mess and he was perfect. To get that, I needed an Elizabeth or Mandy or Bernadette. Krista had given me a glimpse of what that might look like.

And then she dropped me like a hot potato.

Briggs’s phone started buzzing on the table. He glanced at the screen and grinned. “It’s Sebastian.” He answered on speaker. “You’re on with the whole family. We’re also at a restaurant, so don’t be too loud.”

“Hey, everyone!” Sebastian’s voice came through, accompanied by what sounded like waves in the background. “Those pictures looked amazing! How’s Santorini?”

“Beautiful,” Mom said. “We miss you, sweetheart.”

“Miss you too. Bernadette and I are having a great time, but I wanted to call and wish Dash luck tomorrow.” A pause. “You there, little brother?”

“I’m here.”

“Break a leg. Not literally. We need you in one piece for the next show.”

“Thanks, Sebastian.”

“Seriously, man. The set looks incredible. You nailed it.” Sebastian laughed. “Tell Adrian and Briggs they never should have doubted you.”

I shot a glance at my brothers, who both had the decency to look a little humbled, but even that huge victory didn’t hit home the way it would have a week ago. I forced a smile. “Appreciate it. I’m glad it came together.”

“Oh, and one more thing,” Sebastian said, his tone shifting to something more teasing. “Who’s the hottie in the picture on socials?”

My stomach dropped.

“What picture?” Mom asked immediately.