Page 87 of Have To Be Mine

“But you still managed to screw everything up.”

I looked at her and considered my comeback. She stared at me. I could see the challenge in her eyes. She wanted to keep this little exchange up. If I hurt her, it would make it easier to walk away for good.

I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction. I wanted her to suffer. She was scared. It wasn’t me she was running from. She didn’t like feeling like a woman who could love. Who was loved.

I shook my head. “Me?” I asked. “You think I messed it up?”

She shrugged.

“Yeah, we both know that’s bullshit.”

I turned and walked away. I had a production to put on. I wasn’t going to fail now. I understood what it was to be used. I didn’t think I’d ever used anyone. The women I took to my bed knew exactly what it was. They weren’t expecting a ring or even flowers.

I had opened myself to Krista and she shit all over my heart.

28

KRISTA

Igrabbed my duffel from the bedroom Dash and I had been sharing and hauled it up the stairs to the second bedroom. It had a smaller balcony but was still just as luxurious, not that I needed luxury. A cot would have been fine.

I dumped my bag on the bed and unpacked the few things I would need to get through the rest of the week. I was so ready to get back home and pick up my next job. I needed to get away from him. I couldn’t think straight around Dash.

I stripped out of the clothes that were damp with sweat. It had been hot and humid and I needed a shower. I washed away the sweat and dust from the production site. Washing away the memory of Dash’s hands on me. The way he’d looked at me when he said he was falling in love with me.

I had panicked. That was what had happened. He’d said those words and every alarm in my head had gone off at once. Because I was falling for him too, and that terrified me more than anything I’d faced in my entire life.

I could not fall in love. I definitely couldn’t fall in love with a man like him. He would love me and leave me. I didn’t have what it took to keep him entertained and interested forever. I knew that. Dash was hot for me now because it was new, but he’d want the hot models again one day.

I wrapped myself in a towel and stood in front of the mirror, looking at my reflection. Who was this woman staring back at me? Not the soldier. Not the logistics expert. Not even the woman who sung karaoke and wore dresses and let herself be swept away on a yacht.

Just me. Scared and alone and completely lost.

I pulled on my Army T-shirt and a pair of cotton shorts, then grabbed my phone and went out to the balcony. The sun was setting, creating a fabulous display of color across the sky. It should have been beautiful. It just made me feel emptier.

I dialed my dad’s number. I needed to talk to someone that was real. Someone that loved me unconditionally and didn’t care if I wore makeup or dresses.

“Krista! Sweetheart, how’s Greece?”

“It’s good, Dad. How are you?”

“Oh, you know me. Same old, same old. Just got back from the clubhouse, actually. You’ll never guess who I ran into.”

I settled into the chair, grateful for the distraction of his familiar voice. “Who?”

“Remember Carson Webb? From West Point?”

Carson. We’d been in the same class during training. Smart, capable, always two steps ahead of everyone else. “Yeah, I remember Carson.”

“His mom just moved into the complex. He was helping her get settled. We got to talking and I mentioned you were still in logistics and operations, kicking ass and taking names.” He chuckled. “He said to tell you he’s glad you’re still out there doing your thing.”

“That’s nice of him.”

“He’s a mortgage broker now. Can you believe it? Said he got tired of the structure, wanted something with more flexibility. He’s got twin girls on the way. His wife’s about ready to pop.”

Twin girls. A wife. A normal life with roots and a mortgage and probably a house with a white picket fence.

“That’s great for him,” I managed.