Page 65 of Do It With Me

CHAPTER 28

HOLDEN

The call came early on what otherwise would’ve been an ordinary Thursday morning. I smiled when I saw her name on my screen as I was getting ready for the day, but when I caught a glimpse of the time, my stomach dropped and my bloodstream froze over.

No good news could come at five-thirty in the morning. My heart thudded in my ears as my thumb slid across the screen. “Ella, what it is? What’s wrong?”

Her voice broke on the other end of the line, barely able to say the words. “Holden? I… My mom… She’s gone.”

“I’m coming.” My eyelids slammed shut, but I was already in motion. I didn’t think as I turned and ran out of my room, still jamming my feet into my shoes halfway down the hall. My chest felt tight, like my lungs had forgotten how to absorb oxygen.

On my way out the door, I grabbed my keys and my wallet, then canceled every meeting on my calendar as I raced to my car. My hair was still damp and I hadn’t remembered to grab a tie, but none of that mattered.

My heart hammered in my throat, my extremities ice cold as I flew in behind the steering wheel and turned over my engine. I couldn’t believe it was all over. Dr. Feldman had warned us that it wouldn’t be long, but this seemed unbelievably, impossibly, cruelly fast.

Just a little over a week ago, we’d gone to the beach and now Sara was gone. My chest ached for Ellora, my jaw hard. I ran up the stairs when I reached her building. I felt like I could barely see, let alone create any sort of awareness of my surroundings.

All I knew when I reached her floor was that I’d made it. I burst out of the stairwell and sprinted to her door, my fist dropping in a loud bang as soon as it was within reach. As if she’d been waiting for me to knock, she opened immediately, her eyes red and glassy and her hair a mess.

I pulled her into my arms without either of us saying a word, but she didn’t need to. She looked like she’d been completely hollowed out, her face pale and her body trembling as she sank into me. She clung to my shirt, burying her head in my chest, and she started sobbing quietly.

All I could do was hold her. “I’m sorry, Ella. I’m so, so sorry.”

I kissed her hair and her cheeks, wiping away the tears that wouldn’t stop. Once we were inside, Ellora hung onto me. I led her to the couch and draped a blanket from the back of it over us. Her fingers twisted in my shirt, her head resting on my arm. She tried to calm her breathing.

“Can I make you some tea?” I offered quietly, kicking off my shoes and realizing that I hadn’t even tied my laces.

She looked up at me, those green eyes lost and swimming in tears. “No. I… yes. Maybe.”

I brushed a stray lock of hair out of her face and gently tucked it behind her ear. “How about I just hold you for a while and then we’ll figure it out?”

“That sounds good.”

She dropped her head back to my chest and started sobbing all over again. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close as she fell apart. Every time her phone rang, I took the call without leaving her side.

I spoke to friends and distant relatives, the funeral home, various former coworkers of Sara’s, and a whole host of others. There were so many people who wanted to offer their condolences, but Ellora only spoke to someone called Mercedes, letting me deal with all the others.

While she spoke to her friend, she pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them, looking like a shadow of herself as she cried into the phone. I arranged the blanket around her and stood up to give them some privacy, finally going to make her some tea.

There were still dishes in the sink from last night’s dinner, medications, and empty cups on the counter. Yeah, she shouldn’t have to deal with all this.

After filling the tea kettle with fresh water, I put it on, and while I waited for it to boil, I rolled up my sleeves and quickly washed their few dishes. I hadn’t done this myself for a long time, but it was methodical and strangely comforting.

Once that was done, I wiped down the kitchen counter and packed all the medications bearing Sara’s name into an empty box I found under the sink. I glanced down the hall once I had our tea in my hands, contemplating going to strip Sara’s bedding, but I didn’t want to do that without asking.

When I walked back into the living room, Ellora was just putting the phone down. She’d stopped crying, but her eyes were red and swollen, her bare feet sticking out from under the blanket. Her arm was still slung around her knees, still pulled up to her chest like she was trying to make herself as small as possible.

“Where’s Bree?” I asked once I’d handed over the tea. “Is she alright? I thought she’d still be here.”

Ellora shook her head, her voice ragged after all the crying, and so soft and broken that it slayed me to hear her like this. “I told her not to come. She wanted to, but Mom…”

Her voice cracked completely and she dropped her head back, closing her eyes and swallowing a few times before looking at me again. “Mom was already gone and Bree was crying so hard, I didn’t want her driving or trying to navigate any kind of public transportation. Besides, there was nothing for her to do here.”

I slung my arm around her shoulders and gently pulled her closer to me, moving slowly so we wouldn’t spill the tea. Turning my head, I pressed a kiss to her temple and detested the feeling of uselessness that spread through me, but right now, all I could do was be here.

We sat in silence for a while, just sipping our tea. Then quietly, she started speaking, telling me stories about her mom. She cried a lot. Even I got tears in my eyes at times, but I listened to everything she said and committed the tales to memory, silently thanking my lucky stars that I’d gotten to spend at least a few hours with the woman she was talking about.

Eventually, exhaustion pulled her under and she fell asleep with her head on my lap. It sounded like it’d been a long morning, so I was careful when I extricated myself, gently lowering her head to a cushion when I went to rustle something up for lunch.