Page 36 of Do It With Me

16

HOLDEN

Igot to the classroom early, watching the clock on the far wall tick down like it was mocking me. Ten minutes to start time, some students came filtering in. Then it was eight minutes. Then six. But she still wasn’t here.

On my way to class, I’d told myself I was only early because I liked being prepared. Most days, that was true. Just not this one.

The truth was that I was waiting for her, eager to see her again and to find out if whatever had called her away on Sunday morning had turned out okay.

I hadn’t heard from Ellora since she’d left the hotel. No texts. No calls. Not even a meme or a thanks for breakfast. I’d even double-checked my phone’s signal like some lovesick teenager who couldn’t accept that silence just meant silence.

So many times, I’d been tempted to make contact with her, but I didn’t want to push. I didn’t want to make her feel cornered or pressured. She’d agreed to one fake date and everything else that had happened had been spontaneous. Unexpected.

God knew, I wanted to see her again, but I needed to read the room before I opened my stupid mouth and scared her off. A few students nodded politely as they walked in, some murmuring greetings.

My eyes darted to the door every time it opened. Finally, she walked in. Same soft red hair tied into a high, sleek ponytail, same green eyes, and yet, I knew immediately that there was something different about her.

Something tighter. Something guarded. The easy warmth she’d carried at the wedding was gone. She smiled when she saw me, but it was polite and professional, not at all reaching her eyes.

“Hi,” she said, taking her usual seat.

“Hi,” I managed to return cleverly, but that was it.

There was no spark, no sparkly sarcasm, and no secret smile like we’d shared something only the two of us knew. It was just a normal greeting. Painfully, formally normal.

When the time came, I went through the motions of starting class, but I could barely focus on my notes. Every time she looked down at her notebook, I found myself staring, trying to decipher what she was thinking.

Did she regret it?

The thought hit harder than I might’ve expected it to.

Was it just about the money for her? The deal? The pretense?

I’d told myself she wasn’t like that. She certainly hadn’t struck me as that kind of woman, but now that we were here, acting like we were strangers again, I couldn’t tell what was real. Had she just been pretending the whole time?

She’d kissed me first. She’d gone upstairs with me, laughed with me, and touched me like I meant something to her, but it was entirely possible that despite my assurances, she’d felt like she had to do it to get the money. The money. Fuck.

The idea sent me reeling. I’d been careful not to expect anything from her. I’d drawn that line for both our sakes, but somehow, without realizing it, I’d crossed it anyway because, somewhere along the line, I’d started thinking she might feel it too.

Right now though, I wasn’t sure I hadn’t imagined the whole damn thing.

The rest of the class passed in a blur. I talked, but if it hadn’t been for the fact that I’d been presenting this class for five years, I probably wouldn’t have been able to teach at all. While my mouth was lecturing about market dynamics and sustainable development, my brain was replaying every moment from our date, searching for clues I might’ve missed about her motivations.

Was she only with me that night because she thought it was part of the deal? Just considering it felt like a knife twisting in my gut. Because it was fucking repulsive to me that while I’d thought we were really connecting, she might’ve just been playing her role as my fake girlfriend a little too well.

She might’ve thought I’d only been paying lip service when I’d said I didn’t expect that from her.

Shit.

It hadn’t at all seemed like she hadn’t wanted it. In fact, it had been quite the opposite, but I suddenly couldn’t shake the thought that she might’ve felt pressured.

When the class ended, I stacked my notes and waited until everyone filtered out. She shoved her laptop into her bag like she was trying to make a quick escape, but I cleared my throat as she made to rush past me.

“Ellora,” I said quietly. “Can you come by my office for a minute?”

Her head lifted and turned in my direction, her eyes wary but her expression resigned. “Sure. Yeah. Is everything okay?”

I shrugged. “I’m not sure.”