Page 34 of Do It With Me

15

ELLORA

The Uber driver weaved through the Sunday morning traffic without saying a word. I was thankful for his silence and his focus on getting me home. The morning afterglow clung to me like a warm fog when I thought about Holden’s laugh, his hands, and the way he’d looked at me like I was something rare and shining, but then Bree’s message replayed in my head and the fog burned off fast.

Hey, sorry to bother you. Your mom’s having a rough morning. You might want to check in.

Guilt slammed into me all over again, hard enough to knock the air out of my lungs. What was I doing?

Staying out all night and getting wrapped up in some fantasy with a man I barely knew while my mother—my sweet, confused, unpredictable mother—was home, needing me to be there with her.

I twisted my hands in my lap as block after block flew by outside. Mercifully, the traffic was light, but every red traffic light we hit felt like a punishment.

I shouldn’t have gone. I shouldn’t have stayed over. I should’ve known better. Hell, I did know better. I even told Bree I wouldn’t be home late.

The guilt was so intense that it felt like it was choking me, sucking all the oxygen straight out of my lungs. What the hell was I thinking last night?

That was the thing, though. I hadn’t been thinking. I’d been acting purely on instinct, driven by my need for a man I shouldn’t even have been out with at all.

I bet most girls don’t even think about the way Cinderella might’ve felt when she was fleeing the ball after that damn clock struck. We all wanted to be a princess for a night, but no one thought about the consequences. The complications. The emotions.

Getting a taste of that and then having reality crash back in was worse than never having felt it at all. At least, that was how I felt about this morning.

Holden really had made me feel a princess, a wanted, sexy, kickass businesswomen of a princess who could have it all. Then that text had come through and now I was left to wonder if it’d been worth it.

Because that wasn’t my life and it never would be.

By the time we finally pulled up in front of my building, I tossed the driver a tip and practically ran up the stairs. Guilt, remorse, and regret chewed a hole through my soul as I went. Bree opened the door as soon as I slid the key into the lock.

“Hey, she’s okay now,” she said, the words pouring out of her in a rush. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to freak you out. She just kept asking where you were and if you were taking her to the beach. I thought maybe if she saw you⁠—”

“It’s fine,” I said, walking past her into the apartment as she stepped aside. My heart was still hammering, tears burning in my eyes. “I shouldn’t have stayed out all night and I definitely shouldn’t have been out all morning as well. I’m the one who’s sorry. Where is she?”

“In the kitchen.” Bree reached out and touched my shoulder as she followed after me, the gentle touch stopping me in my tracks. When I turned to face her, she gave me an understanding smile, those blue eyes as patient and kind as always. “It’s okay, Ellora. You really don’t have anything to be sorry about. It’s okay to still have a life, you know? She’d want that for you, even in her worst moments.”

The tears brimmed in my eyes then, no longer simply burning the backs but welling on my eyelids. “She sacrificed so much for me and she’s always been there when I needed her. I shouldn’t just have left her.”

Bree shook her head. “Going out isn’t the same as abandoning her, girl. I was right here. We just had a bit of a rough patch.”

“Yeah.” I inhaled deeply and swiped my fingers under my eyes, taking a moment to compose myself before I headed into the kitchen.

Mom was at the counter, her silver-streaked hair sticking up in every direction. She was wearing one of my old T-shirts and eating cereal like it was the best meal she’d ever had, picking at pieces of a fruit salad in between.

“Good morning, sunshine,” she said, bright as day now, like she hadn’t ever been confused at all. Her gaze ran over me and I realized at the same time she did that I was wearing a fancy ballgown in the middle of the morning. My cheeks flushed, but she smirked a little. “I’m assuming you had a good night.”

“It was a great night.” I sagged against the counter, relief and guilt tangling in my chest until I didn’t know which was which. “How are you feeling?”

“Me?” She frowned. “I’m fine. Why?”

“No reason.” I forced a smile and straightened up, blowing out a deep breath. I felt my heartrate calm down. “I’m going to get changed. Will you be okay by yourself for a minute?”

“Of course.” She scoffed and waved me off before she smirked again. “Best to wash your face, darling. You’re still wearing the makeup from last night.”

I groaned but let out a quiet giggle that was part embarrassment, part relief. “Thanks for pointing that out.”

She winked at me, going back to her cereal like it was just a normal morning. Meanwhile, I felt like I’d run an emotional marathon.

“See?” Bree said softly beside me as I left the kitchen. “She’s doing much better now. You really could’ve just called to check in. It wasn’t necessary to come home. She was just a bit panicked when she didn’t know where you were and didn’t recognize me.”