Page 73 of One Reckless Night

I locked the door behind me and headed back to my hotel, feeling slightly ill. I’d been feeling this way for weeks—out of body, unwell, like I was floating through life without really being present. I chalked it up to grief, to the weight of losing my mom and saying goodbye to the only home I’d ever known. But deep down, I knew there was more to it. I just didn’t want to admit it. It was easier to reason away the symptoms.

I got back to my hotel and ordered tea and biscuits. It was comfort food, and I hoped it would settle my stomach. Tomorrow was a big day. I didn’t want to be ill for the long flight back to Miami.

The next morning, I woke up early, my stomach churning. I packed my bags and headed to the airport. I made it through security and sprinted to the gate.

The flight was boarding. I had hoped to have a light breakfast before the flight, but life had other plans. I couldn’t find my shoe. Then the zipper broke on my suitcase. And of course because it was London, it was raining, which made it next to impossible to get a cab. I was certain I had a curse hanging over me.

As soon as I sat in my seat, a wave of nausea hit me. I hopped right back up. I barely made it to the bathroom before I threw up. Puking in an airplane loo was humiliating. And extremely uncomfortable. My ass was pushed against the door, my body filling the tiny space.

“Excuse me, you’ll need to take your seat please,” the flight attendant said outside the door.

That only served to add to my humiliation. I got to my feet and did my best to look presentable. I stepped out and noticed the entire plane had been seated. Everyone was waiting on me.

This day just kept getting better. I walked down the aisle and felt the stares. They were all looking at me.

When I returned to my seat, the elderly woman sitting next to me gave me a sympathetic smile. “Are you alright, dear?” she asked, her voice kind.

I nodded, forcing a smile. “Just a bit of a rough morning.”

She reached into her bag and pulled out a packet of crackers and a small bottle of water. “Here. These might help.”

I thanked her and nibbled on the crackers as the plane took off. The woman was quiet, reading her book and looking completely at ease. I on the other hand was calculating the distance to the restroom and wondering just how long it would take me to make it.

“You know, almost everyone feels unwell in their first trimester. But it’ll pass.”

I froze, my stomach dropping. “I’m not pregnant,” I said quickly, my voice a little too sharp.

She laughed, her eyes twinkling. “Oh, I’m sorry. You just have that glow about you.”

I forced a laugh, but my mind was racing. I did some quick math, my heart pounding. It had been over two months since my last period. There had been two encounters with Jared without condoms.

That was so careless.

But there was no way I was pregnant.

It couldn’t be. Not now. Not like this.

I closed my eyes, trying to force myself to believe it was just the stress. But the seed of doubt had been planted, and I couldn’t shake it.

I leaned back in the seat and tried to nap. Unfortunately, my brain was in overdrive. I was calculating dates and picturing the fetus in my womb.

I couldn’t believe it. I mean, I could, but I knew women that had unprotected sex for years and never got pregnant. I took one, okay two, walks on the wild side and I got pregnant? I was thirty-one and had always been led to believe time and biology were not on my side.

When the plane landed in Miami, I felt the change in the atmosphere despite being inside the airport. People were dressed in floral shirts, shorts, and sandals. I was wearing jeans and a jumper.

“One of these things is not like the other,” I murmured as I walked toward baggage claim.

“Amelia!”

I recognized Clair’s voice. I knew she was picking me up, but I couldn’t see her in the sea of faces.

She waved her hand. “Amelia!”

I smiled and waved back. She rushed me and practically tackled me with a hug. “I’ve missed you so much!”

I hugged her back, forcing a smile. “I’ve missed you too.”

She helped me grab my bags and led me to the car, chattering excitedly about everything I’d missed at the lab. I listened, nodding along, but my mind was elsewhere. I couldn’t stop thinking about the possibility of being pregnant. About Jared. About how much my life would change, assuming the worst was true.

As we drove to the private airport to catch a chartered flight back to the lab, I stared out the window. Clair was still talking, but I barely heard her. All I could think about was Jared. The way he’d looked at me, the way he’d kissed me, the way he’d let me walk away.

It stung. More than I wanted to admit. But I couldn’t let myself dwell on it. Not now. Not when I had so much else to figure out.

When we arrived at the campus, Clair helped me with my bags and walked me to my condo. “You should rest,” she said, her tone gentle. “You’ve been through a lot. You look exhausted.”

I nodded, forcing a smile. “Thanks, Clair. For everything.”

She hugged me again, then left. I looked around my condo. It was exactly as I left it. I was honestly surprised they saved it for me. It meant a lot that they did.

I was back. Back to my job, my life, my reality. But nothing felt the same.