Page 102 of Don’t Go Breaking My Heart

If anything, I was trying to let him be as free as he wanted. I just wanted him to consider me and my feelings for him. I loved him and couldn’t stand the thought of him being hurt.

But this? This was unbearable. Walking away felt like tearing a part of myself out. I could still feel the heat of his words burning in the air between us, scorching and final.

I got in my car and sat for a moment just trying to slow my thoughts. I went there thinking we could have a conversation. I just wanted to talk and explain what I was trying to say. Clearly, he wasn’t interested in hearing anything from me.

I couldn’t believe we had come so close to being happy. And then it all exploded in my face. Maybe it was for the best. I wasn’t going to have to wonder what could have been. I had a life in Miami. I nearly threw it all away to come here to be with a man that didn’t want me. Not really.

The idea of calling my boss filled me with a strange mix of relief and regret. I wasn’t ready to face Miami again—my normal life, my office, my routines—but staying here felt impossible. After everything that had happened tonight, it was clear I didn’t belong.

This thing with Kannon was not meant to be. Yes, we had chemistry and I did love him. I believed he had love for me, but it wasn’t the kind of love that would hold together an adult relationship. Not a healthy one anyway.

I couldn’t be with someone that lived on the edge. I wasn’t strong enough to be the girlfriend of someone who didn’t value his life enough to slow things down. He wasn’t a racecar driver or a bomb technician. He was just a reckless man that loved to dance with the devil. That was not something I could stand by and watch.

It just wouldn’t work. The sooner I accepted that and got back to living the life I created for myself, the better my life would be.

I pressed the call button before I could change my mind.

“Merritt!” My boss answered on the first ring.

“Hi,” I said, forcing a smile into my voice.

“Thanks again for coming back and saving the day,” he said. “I really appreciate it. The whole team does. You’re a savior.”

“Thanks.” I took a breath. Once the words were out, I would be on my way to normal once again. “I’ll be back next week. I don’t need until Valentine’s Day. I need to come home and get my life back to normal.”

“That’s fantastic news! Your office is ready whenever you are. I’ve been drowning here without you. I look forward to having you back.”

“Thank you.”

“Did you get everything handled with your father’s estate?”

No. “Yep, all good. I’ll be there Monday.”

“Good. Really good, Merritt. We’ve missed you. And hey—if you need anything, just say the word.”

My boss’s enthusiasm momentarily buoyed my spirits, a welcome change from the turmoil roiling in my heart. But as I ended the call, the weight of the finality in my decision pressed down on me once again. I sat in the silence of my car and debated what to do next. Was I truly ready to leave it all behind—leave him behind?

Was the choice even up to me anymore?

I turned over the engine and began driving. Memories of my times with Kannon swirled around. Each laugh, each touch, every whispered promise that now seemed more like ghosts than treasured moments. I knew it was the right decision. I needed the structure of my job, the familiarity of my life in Miami.

Kannon would be fine without me. He always had been. He had demons to deal with. I couldn’t fight those for him. Maybe one day he would get through it but I couldn’t sit around and let my heart get twisted and smashed.

I knew what I needed to do. The one thing I had not done since I had been back. I stopped for coffee at the only place still open this late. Armed with a huge cup of strong coffee, I drove to the cemetery. I didn’t even think about where I was going until I pulled up to the gate and parked.

My dad’s grave called to me like it always did when I felt lost. I didn’t bother thinking about the fact I was at the cemetery at night. I wasn’t a big believer in ghosts and that kind of thing. It was the living I couldn’t understand.

The large gate for cars was locked tight, but there was a smaller gate on the side. I opened it. Rusty hinges creaked loudly as I stepped through. I knew where the plot was. His headstone wouldn’t be put up for another month or two, but I didn’t need that.

I carried my coffee as I walked to his grave. The chill in the air nipped at my skin, but I barely noticed. I stopped and stared at the tiny plaque that noted his plot. I stared down at it for several seconds. A powerful wave of emotions rolled over me.

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, blurring the simple metal plaque into a shimmering pool of faint light. I clutched the coffee cup closer, the warmth seeping into my palms, grounding me in the cold, eerie quiet of the cemetery. I took a slow sip, letting the bitterness of the coffee bring a small comfort. I couldn’t believe this was it. This was all that I had left of him.

“Dad,” I whispered into the night. My voice felt small and fragile in the vast darkness. “I’m so lost without you.”

I knelt down on the soft grass, not caring about the dampness soaking through my jeans. Memories of my father flooded in. I closed my eyes and dealt with wave after wave of feelings. Joy, sadness, and even a little anger rolled through. I dragged in a shaky breath and slowly exhaled. I felt my emotions calming.

“I’m so mad at you,” I whispered. “You should’ve told me how bad it was. You should’ve let me come see you before… before this. You didn’t have to protect me from everything, Dad. I’m not a little girl anymore.”