Page 66 of His for the Holiday

I just didn’t know how I hadn’t realized it years ago.

Calen wasn’t cut out for monogamy. He was never going to be happy with just one woman, not while there were still so many out there to be charmed out of their panties.

It made me feel bad for Maeve, who was obviously somewhere by herself, taking care of their baby while he whored around with the women of my hometown. I never thought I’d feel a thing for my former best friend, but despite everything that had happened, I did pity her now.

As I walked back into the kitchen, Winnie was showing my mom all her new toys. “This is a vampire Barbie, isn’t that cool? Daddy’s friend bought her for me.”

Mom’s eyes flicked up to mine and we exchanged a glance, but I gave my head a quick shake. Now wasn’t the time to tell her that “Daddy’s friend” had been in the car when he’d dropped Winnie off, or that it was likely he was now cheating on Maeve.

“Daddy said he was going to sit in the front row of my play,” Winnie said proudly, grinning like a cat who was about to get all the cream. “He said he would be there early to get the best seat in the house and that he’s going to cheer the loudest.”

So help me, Calen. You’d better keep all these promises you’re making her go on and on about.

“Everything has to be perfect, Mam,” she said as she looked at me, her eyes wide. “Daddy will want to see me all the time if it is. Can we be there early too?”

“Sure,” I agreed and turned away to busy myself with the salad I’d been making for dinner tonight so she wouldn’t see the tears in my eyes.

Everything has to be perfect because then Daddy will want to see me all the timewas a new nugget I was going to be adding to the highlight reel of phrases that broke my heart.

With Calen in town, I had no doubt I was going to be adding a lot more before he finally jetted off again, none the wiser of all the ways in which he hurt his own child on a daily fucking basis. It made me so angry I could cry and yet I couldn’t.

Someone had to be strong for Winnie, and it turned out that I was the only one left to do that. Thankfully, my mom realized that I needed a minute and slid an arm around Winnie’s shoulders. “Why don’t we let your mommy go get some air while you come help me with the desserts for tomorrow? I’ve been saving them for us to do together.”

“Yes!” Winnie cheered, shooting me a pleading look when I finally managed to get my tears under control. “Can I, Mommy? Please?”

“Of course,” I said, desperately trying to hold it together as I nodded at my mom. “I think I’ll go get that air now. Thank you.”

She winked at me and I spun around and made a beeline for the kitchen door. I was practically hyperventilating as soon as it shut behind me. Just when I started thinking things were going to be okay, he just has to show up.

After working on calming my breathing, I walked around aimlessly for a while, hugging my too-thin-to-be-outside-in jacket around myself as I tried to get a handle on my thoughts.

Eventually, I ended up at Hawk’s, knocking softly on the back door and hoping like hell that he was in there to hear me. When the door finally swung open, it was Emery’s face I found myself looking at, though.

She smiled when she saw me. “Sutton? Hi, come on in.”

As she stepped aside, her gaze swept across my face and the smile immediately vanished. “Ouch. You don’t look so good. What happened?”

“Calen,” I said listlessly, taking her up on her invitation and going inside. I looked around for her brother. “Is Hawk home?”

“He’s at the port with Dad,” she said. “I’m available to talk, though. Can I make you a cup of tea?”

“Are you sure you’ve got time?” I asked. “I don’t want to pile onto everything you’ve got going on.”

She chuckled, shut the door behind me, and crossed over to the tea kettle. “Actually, my pile is pretty small these days. Add to it. Please. The boys are at school, I’ve cleaned the house, and I don’t have to go to the office today, which is great, but I’m not used to being bored anymore.”

“Bored is good.” I managed a weak smile as I walked further into their kitchen, glad for the reprieve from the cold outside.

I made my way to their breakfast nook, where she and I had spent many hours drinking tea and talking just like we were about to. It occurred to me that I still didn’t know what Hawk’s plans were, but Emery certainly looked better.

Her cheeks were rosy again and there were no smudges under her eyes today either. She seemed to be carrying herself a little easier, her steps lighter and her shoulders a little more square. Wearing a long-sleeved, black and blue maxi dress and with her dark hair swept up into a high, smooth ponytail, she looked more like herself than I’d seen her since I’d gotten home.

“Hawk is still helping out at your dad’s business, huh?” I asked, knowing that I should probably wait to get the actual story from him, but I needed some information at least. “That’s good. I’m glad. You’re looking really great.”

She chuckled. “Yeah, he is. He’s been a godsend, actually. It turns out that it really helps when you know exactly what you’re doing and when you’ve got the gravitas to make the people at the port listen to you.”

“I bet,” I agreed, laughing. “What’s going to happen with all that now? Is it true that he’s staying?”

“Sort of,” she said vaguely as she made our tea. “He’s really trying to help and he’s got a lot going on at the moment. I think it’s probably for the best to let him explain. Besides, you came here upset about Calen. What happened?”