Page 40 of His for the Holiday

“Winnie doesn’t seem bothered by the cold,” he said, casting a glance to where she was sitting on the beach, pulling off her shoes. “She didn’t seem bothered by the rainy weather at the festival the other day either.”

“It always rains in Scotland,” I said. “She’s used to it. I’m not sure what she’ll do when the weather changes.”

“Love it?” he suggested playfully. His eyes only left mine occasionally to check on Winnie and then to glance at the server when he placed his order, but outside of that, he was completely focused on me. “How was your day?”

My cheeks heated a little as I found myself staring deeply into his eyes in turn. My heart started thrumming all over again, my body reacting to his intense stare in a way that made me want to climb into his lap.

I swallowed hard, trying to ignore the lust and hoping that my voice wasn’t filled with it. “It was great, yours?”

“I’ve been walking on air all day,” he said. “Then I met a representative of Meecham Maritime. The guy was a real piece of work.”

I exhaled a deep breath. Well, at least that dumped a bucket of ice over my overheating libido.

“My dad isn’t very impressed either. I’ve never had a run-in with them, but from the sounds of things, they’re like the damn mafia around here.” She shook her head. “So you’re not alone in your opinion of them.”

Hawk chuckled, but there was no humor to the sound. “The mafia thing might be an apt analogy.”

“Sometimes, I wonder if I did the right thing bringing Winnie here,” I admitted, surprising myself by bringing it up now, but I’d been meaning to talk it through with him anyway and what he’d said opened the door to the topic. I glanced at my daughter, that same guilt and uncertainty from before churning through me. “Things are changing around Portsmouth. I just didn’t realize how much until we got back. Dad says Meecham has a monopoly on the port. He’s afraid they’re going to eventually change the whole landscape of the town because of it. Drive away the old-timers and the locals.”

Hawk grimaced. “Yeah, he mentioned something like that to me. You didn’t make a mistake bringing her here, though. We’re not going to let any outsiders take over, are we?”

I laughed softly. “What do you suggest we do about it? It’s not like we can stage a coup.”

His head cocked slightly, something like determination flashing in his eyes before he shook his head. “No, of course not.”

As he stared at me, I knew a change in subject was coming, but I wasn’t quite prepared for what he changed it to.

“How did you end up bringing her here? Did Calen just let you take her?”

His voice was cautious and gentle, and I supposed I had been the one who’d brought it up. I just hadn’t been expecting Calen to enter the conversation, but again, I found myself wanting to answer.

“All it cost me to bring her was everything I would’ve been entitled to out of our marriage, but she’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. I gave it all up with a smile since it meant he’d sign off on her coming home with me.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, and I saw real hurt tightening his features for a beat. “May I ask what happened? I’ve heard bits and pieces, obviously, but I’d prefer to hear the full story from you. If you’re up to it, that is.”

“I’m up to it.” For some reason, talking about this with Hawk wasn’t as painful as it usually was. I kept waiting for a pang, or a smart, or an ache, but it just never came. Encouraged that I was finally getting desensitized enough to talking openly about my past, I drew in a breath and just jumped in.

“Shortly after I moved to Stonehaven to be with Calen, he introduced me to Maeve. They’re both from there and they’ve known each other most of their lives. She used to joke with me that she had the biggest crush on him when they were kids.”

Hawk frowned. “Don’t tell me. She wasn’t joking?”

“We’ll get there.” I laughed bitterly and shook my head. “She seemed nice and she accepted me immediately. She pulled me into her circle of friends and invited me everywhere with them. It didn’t take long before she was my best friend. She was my maid of honor and I was the same for her.”

“Wait, she’s married?” he asked.

I nodded. “Sadly, yes. To a nice guy, too, but last I heard, they were getting divorced as well. Obviously. Anyway, by the time I found out about their affair, it’d been going on for years. A lot of our mutual friends had even known about it but none of them bothered saying a word to me, the dicks.”

That part was the hardest to talk about, how so many people had known and yet I’d been an ignorant fool for so damn long. I wasn’t sure I would ever live down the humiliation. The hurt of having been lied to and kept in the dark was still the hardest part for me to process.

I could accept that Calen had moved on. That we’d grown apart and he’d fallen in love with someone else. I hadn’t liked it at the time, but I could accept it. The lying and the humiliation, though?

It made tears burn the backs of my eyes even now, but I blinked them away, a soft sigh coming out of me. Hawk’s hand slid across the table toward mine, covering it for just a moment and giving it a squeeze. Then he glanced at Winnie again and withdrew even though she was still playing. I managed to give him a small smile, grateful for his support.

“Maeve and Calen have a baby boy now, a son. He’s Winnie’s half-brother, but we haven’t met him. I’m not sure I ever want to, but Winnie seems curious about him. I just don’t know if Calen will ever let her.”

“Why not?”

I snorted softly. “Making the arrangements would involve him remembering that we even exist, which I just don’t think he does.”