Page 75 of My All American Girl

33

SARAH

Back in Columbus, I finally felt like I could breathe again. I’d passed my survival training. It had been every bit as hard as I expected. Even more so after the fight.

I was exhausted but I made it. Kylee had passed as well, and while it should have been a moment of triumph, it was bittersweet. Rolley, who’d fought so hard alongside us, had to go back next term to complete his training because of the injuries he sustained defending me. A sprained knee and a broken wrist meant he wasn’t flight ready, and he was out for the rest of the term. He was pissed, and rightfully so. His setback weighed heavily on my conscience.

It was my fault and I didn’t know how to make it up to him. The guy was probably never going to talk to me again. I hated making enemies. It seemed like that was all I was doing lately.

I unpacked my bag and put my uniforms back in the dorm room closet. Kylee did the same, straightening her things and taking a moment to get our room back in order.

“It’s my fault, you know,” I said, voicing my thoughts. “If I hadn’t intervened, Rolley wouldn’t be sidelined right now.”

Kylee shook her head. “Sarah, it wasn’t your fault. If anything, everything that went down was eye-opening. You’re an absolute badass, and you’re exactly the kind of person I want to fly with. I think everyone respects you.”

Her words meant the world to me. “Thank you. I just feel so bad for Rolley.”

“Honestly, Rolley is disappointed, but I know he’s pretty proud to have been the guy that defended you,” she said. “So many people were calling him a hero for jumping in. Trust me, he’s not feeling all that bad.”

“He is a hero.” I smiled. “I still feel so bad.”

“I know you do and so does Rolley.” She smiled. “Just maybe report it to our superiors next time first.”

I laughed. “I think I’ve learned a lesson. Follow protocol.”

I’d been scrambling since that night, replaying every moment, every decision, every punch. I’d been deeply vulnerable with Dean afterward, and though I hadn’t seen him since, I thought about him every waking minute of the day.

My father’s fury made the situation so much worse. He’d been icing me out, refusing to talk to me. All I wanted was an hour to explain myself. I wished he could see things the way Dean and Kylee did.

But he just saw me breaking the rules and making a rookie mistake. My attempt at doing the right thing made him look bad, in his mind. My father refused to listen to my reason for getting into the fight at all. He said it didn’t matter. His reputation was tarnished. I said if his reputation was tarnished so easily, maybe it wasn’t that shiny to begin with.

Our conversation ended there.

“Have you talked to your father again?” Kylee asked.

“No.” I sighed. “Not since he hung up on me. When you disappoint my father, it’s for life.”

“But you’re still going home for the long weekend?” she asked.

I laughed. “Trust me, I’ve reconsidered it. My dad is going to ignore me.”

“And that’s worse than him yelling at you?” she questioned.

“Yes. I don’t care what most people think about me. I’m pretty much going to do what I want. But my dad is the one person on this planet whose opinion I do care about. I think I prefer to just stay here and hide. He’s shutting me out. If he would just let me explain, maybe he’d understand I’m not just a fuck-up.”

I sighed. Despite everything, I knew I had to face him. As much as it would pain me, avoiding the confrontation would only prolong the inevitable.

Kylee gave me a sympathetic look. “You’ve faced tougher challenges than this, Sarah. You’ll get through this too. Your dad loves you. He’s probably just a little upset you were put in danger.”

“Yeah, I suppose.”

“It’s pretty cool Ryker showed up, right?” she said as she stretched out on her bed. “That’s a loyal commanding officer.”

I hesitated. I hadn’t told Kylee about hooking up with Dean that night, or how I stayed in the hotel with him. If it had been anyone else, I would have told her about hooking up with him. But it was different now. I knew I could trust her to keep my secret, but it was something I wanted to keep just for me.

That night had shifted something for me. I needed to see him, to talk to him, to make sure his care and attention weren’t something I’d made up in my head because I was punch drunk and sleep deprived.

I needed to know what we shared was real.