Page 14 of My All American Girl

“Thank god we didn’t have kids,” she spat, walking to fall in step beside me. “You would have left me to do it all. You wouldn’t have even come home. You wouldn’t have even known your own children.”

“Margaret, I don’t know what you’re expecting me to say.” I sighed. “It’s over. Time to move on with our lives.”

“You could have tried harder,” she said with a glare.

“No, Margaret.” I exhaled. “We both know that was a losing battle.”

Her eyes were flaring with a triumphant light, like she had finally scored a victory. That was always what it was with her. She wanted to be the winner in every fight. I had to cave in, or the fight would last forever. Usually, I just walked away.

“And why not?” she demanded, her hands on her hips. “Why didn’t you ever try to keep me? Why didn’t you offer to leave the Air Force?”

“Because we both know it wouldn’t have changed anything. I could’ve apologized till I was blue in the face, and I would still be me. We are who we are, Margaret. And no amount of apologizing or groveling could change that. Things between us were broken a long time ago.”

“But it might have made things different!” she argued, her voice echoing around us. “You’re just so wrapped up in yourself you didn’t care about me. You think you’re going to be the best pilot in the world, touring all over, and you think I was going to wait here, alone? I am not a trophy wife, Dean. I have dreams too, ambitions that don’t involve waiting for a man who doesn’t want to return home. I deserve a man that knows how valuable I am.”

“Then go find one and leave me the hell alone,” I countered, my voice colder than intended. “You knew what you were signing up for. You knew who I was.”

“But you promised things would be different once we were married,” she shot back. “You promised me we’d make it work. But you didn’t even try.”

“What does it matter anymore?” I sighed and tried to walk away.

“You’re a selfish prick, Dean,” she said. “You’re a loser. All you’ll ever be is a has-been pilot.”

I stopped in my tracks, turning around to face her seething figure. Her words were venomous, but I kept my expression stone-faced, refusing to let her see the sting. “That’s your opinion, Margaret,” I said calmly.

Her lips curled into a disdainful sneer. “And everyone else’s, soon enough.”

“Is that a threat?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“It’s a promise,” she retorted, flashing me a triumphant smirk. “I’m going to make sure everyone knows what an asshole you are.”

I shook my head and forced myself to laugh. It was a bitter sound that echoed around us. “You’ve always had a flair for the dramatic, Margaret,” I said. “Go ahead, tell the world. What more is there for me to lose? I honestly do not give a shit. Talk all the shit you want. I don’t care. I sure as hell don’t have to listen to it. You’re not my wife. We’re not friends. We’re nothing.”

“Dick,” she snapped.

“Yep.”

“I can’t believe I ever thought I loved you,” she said with disgust.

“Margaret, honestly, I wish you the best,” I said with a sarcastic smile. “Enjoy the house and your savings account. Take a vacation. I hope you find what it is you’re looking for.”

“I hate you,” she said with another dirty look.

Margaret stomped away, leaving me standing alone on the courthouse steps. I couldn’t help but wonder if she was right. I had been so consumed by my ambition that I had lost sight of what truly mattered. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but one that I knew I had to face if I ever hoped to move on with my life.

I took a deep breath. My first since I was officially single. I couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief mingled with a tinge of sadness. The marriage was over, the legal proceedings finalized, but the wounds still felt raw. It was more about the failure. I didn’t want to fail. I hated failing. I failed at being a husband.

But it was over. I needed to move forward and try to forget about her. I almost felt guilty for not being sad. I thought I loved her, but maybe I had been wrong. If I truly loved her, wouldn’t I feel broken right now?

As I pondered these questions, I felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. A kind of freedom washed over me, similar to when I was soaring high above the clouds in an aircraft, limitless, with the world spread out beneath me like a map.

This was my life now. I had been married to a woman who had ended up hating me. I had no home. My future training pilots in London was not going to happen. I was going to be a glorified babysitter for a brat intent on ruining her career before it ever got started.

With my day in court over, it was time to head back to base. I had six weeks of work in front of me and then I was taking a two-week leave before I had to report to duty in Mississippi. Fortunately, it looked like I was going to get the coveted base housing. I thought about living off the base, but it was just a pain in the ass.

I descended the stone steps, my hand grazing over the cold, rough surface of the rail. I could still hear Margaret’s venomous words echoing in my ears but shook my head as if to clear them. I had come looking for closure, and in a twisted way, I found it. The bitter reality was that Margaret and I were never truly meant for each other.

As I walked toward my truck, normalcy began returning. The morning air filled my lungs and the sunshine peeked through the clouds, casting long shadows on the ground. A new day was dawning and so was a new chapter of my life. Out with the old and in with the new.

I was a single man. I was free to do whatever I wanted with whoever I wanted. That was what I was going to do. I had the day off and didn’t have to report to duty until tomorrow afternoon. I was going out and getting drunk. It was a luxury I never afforded myself. I did what I could to remain on the straight and narrow.

I swung my keys around my finger, heading to the truck that had been my companion for years. It was the only thing I managed to keep and that had been by the skin of my teeth. Margaret wanted it as well out of spite.

I fired up the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. The courthouse disappeared in my rearview mirror, symbolic of my past fading away. The road ahead was clear and open, just like my future. The wind whistled through the open window, whipping at my face. The radio was off, leaving the roar of the truck’s engine and the distant hum of highway traffic the only sound I heard. The Texas heat was in full force. I was a little pissed I would be spending the first part of summer in Texas. I had been looking forward to the cool temps in the UK. I was going from the heat to the humidity that was prevalent in the southeast.

Lucky me.