Page 117 of My All American Girl

50

DEAN

Igrabbed another box and started the tedious process of wrapping the new dishes I had just bought. If I would have known I was going to be packing in a couple of weeks, I never would have bought the stuff.

I didn’t have much, but it was certainly more than I’d arrived with. I wished I would have stuck with the duffel bag way of moving. It would be a lot easier. I actually believed I was going to settle down for a while. What a naïve chump.

I finished the kitchen and grabbed another box. I carried it into the bedroom to pack up the bedding. I could still smell her lingering in the air, a sweet scent that would always make me think of Sarah. My thoughts drifted back to her for the thousandth time that day, but they were bitter and sweet.

As I methodically boxed up my belongings, each item seemed to hold a memory or a piece of a life that was now transitioning. I checked the time and knew I needed to pick up the pace. I had arranged for everything to be shipped to a storage locker. The movers would be here soon. I sealed the last box and took a final look around my empty place.

I hadn’t really been in the place long enough to make it feel like home, but the memories I had with her were special. I looked at the stripped bed and remembered our last night together.

With a deep breath, I picked up my duffel bag and walked out of the duplex. I needed to return the key and sign off on the paperwork and then I was on my way.

I tossed my bag into my truck, feeling a little sad to be leaving my wheels behind. Just as I was about to climb in, I heard the sound of someone pulling in behind me. I looked to see Jude getting out of his truck with a look of concern and disbelief on his face.

“I just heard. Is it true?”

He didn’t need to clarify what he was talking about.

I nodded. “It’s true.”

Jude looked at me like I was batshit crazy. I probably was a little off my rocker, but I felt like I was on the right track. I had made my choice and that was that.

“You quit the Air Force? Just like that? Done?”

“Done,” I confirmed, though it hadn’t been just like that for me. I’d thought it out long and hard. My contract was up, and the mess with London had left my paperwork in limbo. So, my leaving was still considered an honorable discharge. No harm, no foul. But it did mean I wasn’t an airman anymore. That part stung—it had been a huge part of my identity for so long—but the decision had also made me feel a lot freer.

Jude seemed to be struggling to understand. “Why didn’t you want the London transfer anymore? A few months ago, you’d have given your left nut to live overseas and start fresh after your divorce.”

“You were right all along,” I said, pausing to let the words sink in. “Going to London was just running away. I’ve got more going for me here than I realized, and I’m not ready to give up on it all just yet.”

“But you just quit it all!” Jude exclaimed.

“If I remember correctly, you made the same decision,” I reminded him.

“That was different.” He shook his head. “I wasn’t some hotshot pilot on the track to be at the top. You didn’t do the full twenty. You’re not going to get full retirement.”

“And that’s where you’re wrong, Jude,” I fired back, a smile creeping across my face. “I didn’t need the full twenty. That was never part of my plan. And being at the top? That was never my ambition. I just wanted to fly. We both know I would be pushed out of the cockpit soon enough. Younger, brighter, and smarter pilots are coming up for their turn.”

I could see the disbelief in Jude’s eyes, the questioning look that said I was making a mistake. But I was doing what felt right.

“I think you’re afraid,” Jude stated bluntly.

The accusation stung. “Afraid of what?”

“Of Mo sending you to the bottom,” he said.

“No. I just decided my life has changed. I’ve changed. What I wanted when I was a wide-eyed kid at eighteen isn’t what I want now.”

“And what do you want?”

I grinned. “Her.”

“And you think you’re going to get her?” He laughed. “Mo might not be able to bust your balls in the military, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to be okay with you messing with his favorite daughter.”

I shrugged. “Maybe not, but there is no conflict of interest now. I’m not her superior.”