Page 113 of My All American Girl

48

DEAN

Ihadn’t seen Sarah in two weeks. Every day that passed felt like waking up in hell. Every morning it was my first thought. It was a mantra. She was my student. She was off-limits. What happened was in the past and could not happen again. I was trying to make peace with the fact that it was over between us. It was for the best. I missed her more than I could say, but dwelling on it wasn’t going to help either of us.

I thought about Sarah and wondered how she’d been doing. Did she think about me as much as I thought about her? Did she miss me? Miss us? Was she flying better? Was she improving like her father wanted? Did she regret losing me? If given another chance, would she choose me over her career?

I gave my head a shake. Thinking like that wouldn’t get me anywhere.

Mo had removed me as Sarah’s mentor, leaving me in limbo, wondering what my next move would be. There was a lot to think about. Every single day since about the time I was ten I knew I wanted to be a fighter pilot. I knew it like I knew the sky was blue. But now, I didn’t feel that same sense of certainty.

Seeing Sarah in passing was a cruel torture that reminded me of what we had and what we had lost. Her eyes would flicker with recognition and sadness before she quickly looked away. I longed to reach out, to hold her, but the fear of breaking the rules was always in the back of my mind.

I found myself losing focus during training exercises. When I got pulled away from training, I supposed I should have seen that as a good thing. I wasn’t fit to train or teach anyone. I was sidelined. I felt bitter about the situation. I never wanted to be here in the first place. I didn’t ask for the assignment. Despite the way things turned out, I didn’t regret it.

With nothing else to do except wait to find out what the military was going to do with me, I headed to the bar to help Jude. At least that was what I was pretending I was going to do. In reality, I needed to get out of the duplex. I found myself hiding away from everyone. I didn’t want to risk running into Sarah. It was too awkward.

I walked into the bar that was relatively empty. Jude was sitting on one of the bar stools with his calculator out. He looked up when he saw me. “You’re here early,” he said.

I shrugged and walked behind the bar to pour myself a beer. “I’m either here or sitting in my living room waiting for the MPs to show up.”

Jude took a swig of his beer, giving me a sidelong glance. “You’ve been moping around for weeks. It’s time to get back in the saddle.”

“I’m not moping,” I grumbled, though I knew I wasn’t fooling anyone. “Just figuring things out. More like I’m waiting for Mo to figure shit out for me because I’m just a pawn in this game.”

“As in?” he asked.

I sighed and took a seat on one of the stools. “Mo pulled me off Sarah’s training. All training as a matter of fact. Now I’m just waiting for the next assignment, but the waiting is killing me. I’m expecting to be sent to Siberia.”

He chuckled. “Dress warm.”

As if on cue, my phone buzzed with an email notification. I pulled it out and saw the sender. I took a moment. This was it. This was the moment I learned my fate. It was transfer paperwork. My eyes widened as I read the details. I was being transferred to London, like I had originally wanted before all this happened.

“London?” I muttered, my mind racing. “I’m being transferred to London.”

Jude’s eyebrows shot up. “London, huh? Your original plan.”

“Yeah,” I murmured.

“That’s a hell of a long way from here,” he said.

I nodded. “About as far as I can get.”

“Maybe it’s a good thing. The distance will do you some good. You’ll forget about the girl, meet a beautiful Londoner, and move on with your life.”

I highly doubted that. “Yeah, maybe,” I said, though my heart wasn’t in it.

A follow-up email came through. It included more information. I was leaving in four days. Four days to get my shit together.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out Mo had a hand in this. He wanted me as far away from his daughter as possible. He’d obviously been working behind the scenes to get me out of the country as quickly as possible.

“Four days,” I said aloud, still trying to wrap my head around it. “I report for duty in four days.”

Jude clapped me on the back. “You knew it was coming.”

“Yeah, I did,” I said. “Four fucking days. Shit. He could have given me a little more time.”

“You think he did it on purpose?” Jude asked. “He wanted to throw you off your game.”