Page 98 of You Know You Wanna

I cracked open my eyes to see that he was already dressed, clearly getting ready to leave as he spoke. Based on his tone, I assumed it was Jacqueline on the other end of the line.

“Yeah, I’ll see you in New York. We’ll fly out this morning. No. Declan will bring the car back. Okay. See you then. Bye.”

He hung up, and as he started turning back to the bed, I closed my eyes again, pretending to be asleep. My heart shattered when he laid a hand on my shoulder and dragged in a shuddering breath, like this was as painful for him as it was for me.

“Thank you for everything, Birdie,” he whispered so softly that even in the stillness of my bedroom, I almost didn’t hear him. “I’m never going to forget you and I will be back. When the dust settles, the first thing I’m doing is getting on a plane.”

His lips brushed over my temple, lingering there as he breathed me in. He straightened up. I heard him drag in another breath, and he padded quietly over to the door, opened it, and left.

I curled in on myself. The first tears of many to come wet my pillow. Holding my arms around my knees, I let myself sob, really feeling the pain of the loss I’d known would be coming from that very first day he’d kissed me.

Remington might only have been here for a summer, but he’d changed me in many ways. Profoundly. He’d opened my eyes to the fact that I’d simply been coasting through life before, believing I was happy when in reality I’d simply been content.

He’d reminded me of what it was to dream. To want. To live.

And now he was gone and I didn’t know how to do any of those things without him. I would learn, though. I was determined not to let life keep passing me by while I hid in the place that had become my refuge after my mother’s death so many years ago.

What the future held for him and me, I didn’t know. I didn’t know if he’d keep his promise to come back as soon as he could or if I would ever make it to New York. I didn’t know whether I’d get any of those selfies he’d promised, naughty or otherwise, but what I did know was that I would give myself this morning to mope and to grieve.

Maybe even a few more hours. I’d also miss him with every breath I took, but I wouldn’t let that stop me. From now on, I was taking control of my life. I was done coasting.

What that looked like, I didn’t know yet, but I would get there, and once I did, I was going to stop being afraid. My siblings had left Bluebell Hollow, and when the time came, I now had the courage to follow.

51

REMINGTON

“It’s only been a few days, baby. I know you’re not happy to be back, but do you remember how unhappy you were at Blue Pines for that first week or so? You’re going to be fine. We both are. We just need to get back into the swing of things here.”

Laurene lay on the couch at our penthouse in Manhattan, her little body curled around the same pillow she’d been hugging since we’d walked back in. I blew out a heavy breath, knowing I was going to be late if I didn’t get my ass in gear soon, but I couldn’t leave without knowing she’d be alright.

“Mom is going to take me,” she said, her voice shaky. “I know she is. I’m never going to see them again. Not Birdie, or Cassidy, or Heather. I’m going to have to go to England and then I’m never going to come back.”

My daughter was devastated and so was I. Frankly, I didn’t want to be here any more than she did, but for now, this was where we needed to be. “That’s not going to happen, baby girl. Even if you do have to go to London for now, you’ll be home every break and I’ll visit in between, but we shouldn’t get ahead of ourselves. The fight’s not over yet.”

I turned toward the bank of windows looking out over Central Park, wondering when exactly this view had become lacking. I’d always loved my view. I’d bought this place because of the damn view.

Walls of tinted windows surrounded the penthouse on at least two sides in every room, and that was why it had appealed to me so much. We had the park, the city, and even the sky to look out at no matter where we were. At the time, it had been a nod to my love of being outdoors, but somehow, it just wasn’t enough now.

“We need to leave, baby,” I said, walking back to the couch and sitting down with her. “I know you’re sad. I am too. Believe me, but this is for you. I’m trying to make it so that you can stay with me, and once that happens, we can stop worrying about lawyers, and England, and boarding school. Besides, you’re going to Mackenzie’s today. I thought you’d be excited to see her.”

She let out a deep sigh, sitting up and reluctantly letting go of the pillow. “I do want to see her, but I miss Cassidy and Heather. I’m scared Mackenzie won’t understand. She told me before we left that boarding school in London sounds awesome.”

“Yeah, I know you miss them.” I gave her a hug. “I also know that you’re scared, but I’m not going to let her take you. You’re not going anywhere except to Mackenzie’s house and even that’s only for a few hours. I promise you, baby. You’re coming back home to me after that.”

“What if I don’t?” She looked up at me, tears spilling down her cheeks. “I thought you said I have to go.”

“That was before,” I said, gentle but firm. “I didn’t know then how much you didn’t want to go, but I know that now.”

“What about your work?” she asked. “What if you get too busy for me again?”

“Not going to happen.” I held her closer. “I know I haven’t always been there for you in the past, and I realize that’s putting it mildly, but things have changed, honey. I’m listening now and I’m here, but we need to focus on one thing at a time. Our first order of business is my meeting with the lawyer. If I don’t show up, we might just be in trouble.”

She held on to me for another beat, then let go and followed me to the car. It hurt to know that despite all the strides we’d made on our vacation, she was still not convinced things weren’t just going to go back to the way they had been.

If this meeting went well, then hopefully she’d see that I meant it. I had fought for her and won, and after that, hopefully she’d have enough faith in me to trust me fully. I knew I had to work to earn her trust though, and that started with being on time for this meeting.

Thankfully, Mackenzie’s folks lived in a building not far from ours and I walked Laurene in instead of dropping her off with the doorman, saying goodbye to her once I’d told a member of their staff what time I was expecting her home.