Page 79 of You Know You Wanna

I’d been up here before, of course, but never first thing in the morning. I’d never seen the first rays of morning sun bathe the woods in their golden glow, nor had I experienced the tranquility of lying in a giant, four-poster bed as the birds started singing and puffy white clouds floated in the sky.

For a long minute, I kept my head on Remington’s chest, listening to the even, rhythmic sound of his heartbeat under my ear as I took it all in. Tracing patterns on his arm with my fingertips, I drew in a deep breath and allowed myself to feel at peace for only a moment.

I knew it wouldn’t last. I’d been wrong about Remington and me being over yesterday but not all the way wrong. We’d had one last hurrah, but today, he would have to start sorting things out with Jacqueline so Laurene could stay in New York with him.

I wasn’t naive. He was probably going to have to head back for that, chat to lawyers and whatnot about his options in person. With a heavy heart, I extricated myself from him, padding quietly to the bathroom to freshen up and grab a robe.

After splashing some water on my face, I rubbed some toothpaste in my mouth and combed my fingers through my hair. In my reflection in the mirror, I saw that my cheeks were flushed, my lips still swollen from Remington’s passionate, bruising kisses last night, but my eyes were just a little bit too wide.

Bewildered, I thought. That’s how I look. Bewildered.

It wasn’t entirely unexpected, though. I was in love with a man—a family, really—who would be leaving within the next day or two. With him now dead set on keeping her in the States, there was no way they could stay longer than that.

Especially not since her mother was expecting her in England soon. They’d need to move fast on whatever steps they had to take, and they would have to leave me behind to do it. I gripped the sides of the porcelain sink, hanging my head and focusing on my breathing until I felt slightly calmer.

As I finally released the sink, I reached for one of the complimentary robes hanging behind the bathroom door and slid it on. I left the room to put on some coffee and check on Laurene. I knew I wasn’t her mom, but I did love her and she’d given me a scare yesterday.

I just wanted to see her. To make sure she was still safe in her bed and that she knew I was here for her if she needed anything. She and I hadn’t ever spoken about what would happen once they left, but I wanted her to know that she could call me anytime.

God, Gracie was so right. I’ve gotten way too involved. All the way involved. I just admitted to myself that I love both of them. How the hell did I let that happen?

Ignoring the question for now, I walked quietly down the hallway and peeked into her room to find her still sleeping soundly. I stayed there for a moment, just watching her as a smile spread on my lips. I’d always wondered what it would be like to have a daughter of my own, and while I’d only known this girl for a few weeks, she’d already crawled so deep into my heart that it felt like I had at least a little bit of an idea now.

Shaking my head at myself, I pushed away from the door and focused on the coffee I wanted instead. Day by day, I’d been letting myself get more and more comfortable with them. Every single day it was getting harder to remind myself that I wasn’t part of their lives and that I never would be.

Only, why can’t I be?

I flipped the switch on the coffeemaker and leaned against the counter, pondering all the possible options available to me as I saw them. Ultimately though, I couldn’t do anything but stay until I knew Alan would be okay if I left.

Deciding to start there, I suddenly felt a frenetic energy coursing through me. If I could just speak to him, just find out what his plans were, then maybe I could start making some of my own. Completely forgetting I was wearing only a robe, I made for the door, intent on finding him, sitting him down, and having a conversation that was way overdue.

With my heartbeat thrumming in my ears, I threw open the door to leave the suite but stopped short when I realized the hallway wasn’t empty. To my surprise, there was a very well-dressed woman standing right outside the door, flicking her gaze from one suite number to the next like she was deciding which doorway she was going to walk through first.

I frowned. As far as I knew, there were no new guests checking into either of the suites today. Declan was in one and Remington and Laurene were in the other. We only had the two, which meant the woman must’ve gotten turned around somehow.

“Excuse me,” I said politely, clutching the sides of the robe and relieved that I’d remembered I wasn’t dressed before I’d gone any further. “May I help you? If you’re looking for your room, I’d be happy to point you in the right direction.”

The woman pulled off her large sunglasses, revealing a breathtakingly beautiful face with skin as smooth as porcelain and big bright green eyes. She had vibrant, natural red hair that shone like a smooth, glossy sheet and hung all the way to her waist.

Her features were sharp and regal, so striking that she had to be a model. If she wasn’t, she should be. Wearing sky-high heels and a knee-length black sheath dress, everything about her screamed style and sophistication.

I sure as hell wouldn’t be able to pull off an outfit like that. Especially not first thing in the morning. Suddenly ultra aware that I was standing here with bare feet and wearing nothing but a robe, I tightened the sides even more as the woman gave me a slow once-over.

She looked me up and down with deliberate intent. “Who are you?”

I blinked hard, jealous of even this woman’s voice. It was crisp and soft spoken but lyrical and beautiful. “I’m, uh, I’m Birdie and I work at the resort. Can I help you find your room?”

She smiled coyly at me and waved an elegant, manicured hand at Remington’s suite. “Thank you, darling, but you already have. Keeping my husband’s bed warm while I was away, were you?”

My first thought was that she was joking. She had to be, but as I looked at her, I suddenly saw the resemblance between her and Laurene.

She wasn’t joking and she hadn’t gotten turned around.

This gorgeous supermodel of a woman was Remington’s ex-wife. Laurene’s mother. And she’d just called him her husband. My spirits didn’t just sink. They exploded.

It felt like the whole world was crashing down around me, but it wasn’t really. This was just what it felt like when illusions shattered. I’d fooled myself into believing that just maybe, I could one day really be part of their lives, but as Jacqueline swept past me into the suite, I realized that I’d been just that.

A fool.