Page 56 of You Know You Wanna

“Wow,” he murmured, eyes on the sky. He leaned back on the log he was seated on, his palms braced at his sides and his long legs stretched out ahead of him. “Would you look at that? It’s not even completely dark yet and they’re out.”

I hung up our wet clothes to dry, forgetting for a minute that there were so many things hanging in the air between us. “Honestly? I’m surprised they even showered before they passed out. That was a lot of excitement for one day, and after that ordeal with the canoe, I wasn’t sure they’d make it through dinner without nodding off.”

Letting out a low chuckle, he cleaned up the camp, tied off our garbage bags, and came back to sit around the fire with me as night finally fell. I looked at him across the dancing flames, taking in the sharp contours of his face and the deep exhaustion suddenly visible in his eyes.

I hadn’t noticed it before, but as he stared into the fire, it was like there was this bone-deep weariness softening his gaze. For a such big, attractive, confident man, he suddenly seemed so much more human. So much more real.

Remington had this larger than life presence. While I’d experienced his dry sense of humor and had thought I’d gotten to know a bit of what lay beneath, it occurred to me now that I didn’t know him inside and out.

I’d known it all along, but seeing him like this just made it hit home that I really didn’t know much about him at all. Not about the way he thought. The way he felt. Not even about the way he worked. Perhaps it was possible that if he made an investment, he didn’t expect full ownership and to change the very essence of a place into his image.

My heart squeezed at the sight of the big man just staring into the flames, his jaw clenching and releasing until he finally took a deep breath and brought his gaze up to meet mine directly. “I missed out on Laurene as a kid.”

I blinked fast a few times. “Excuse me?”

“I told you earlier that everything that happened between us was real to me, but I also wasn’t lying when I spoke to you about her and my relationship with her,” he said softly, as if not wanting her to accidentally overhear him, but also like it was surprisingly painful for him to say the words. “I always wanted to do these kinds of things with her, you know? It was the first thing I got excited about after we found out her mother was pregnant, the thought of being able to spend time with my kid in the great outdoors.”

I made a noncommittal noise at the back of my throat, but I didn’t think he truly expected an answer from me, and I still wasn’t sure if I could believe him anyway. I wanted to, but for now, I was keeping my cards close to my chest.

Remington wasn’t deterred, and I swore, I felt it in my soul when he let out a deep, long breath before he looked at me again. “Once she came though, I had to keep working to maintain the lifestyle she was born into. For me, it was about making sure I gave her everything I never had, but she became accustomed to it. It meant that eventually I lost touch and ended up missing out on what felt like most of her life.”

It was funny that after all these weeks we’d been spending time together, today was the day he was really opening up. A day on which I’d barely said a word to him. “What’s even worse is that I was so absent that I didn’t even notice she wasn’t getting what she needed from her mother either. We left her with nannies too often. We never sat down for family meals.”

A dull ache started in my chest, a longing to give him back the time he’d lost. When he glanced at me again, I saw the turmoil in his eyes and that the dull ache became a sharp pain. Getting up, I didn’t know what to say but I went to sit down next to him, realizing that Gracie had been right after all.

He wasn’t what I’d thought he was for these last couple days.

Knowing I couldn’t make it any better, I rested my head on his shoulder and he pressed his cheek to the top of my hair. “I missed most of her dance performances and talent shows. When you told me she might enjoy the barre class, that was the first time in years I’d even heard anything about her still liking dance. I know you’re doubting every word I’ve ever said to you, but none of it was a lie, Birdie. Not a word of it.”

I let out a soft sigh, still not agreeing with him having kept it from me that he was here to check out the resort rather than just taking a vacation, but I understood him a little bit better now. “In the grand scheme of things, twelve is still very young, Remington. Little girls love their daddies. Laurene adores you. Be the dad you want to be now. That’s what she’ll remember when she’s all grown up.”

He nodded like he was considering my advice. “I understand why you’re upset with me, and I’m sorry. I’m really so sorry, Birdie.”

“It was a misunderstanding,” I said eventually after taking a minute to search deep within, making sure that I truly believed what I was saying. “I still would’ve preferred if you’d been open with me about wanting to invest in the resort, but I accept your apology and I guess I understand that it’s between you and Alan.”

I dragged in a breath. “That being said, you’re not wrong about the maintenance that needs to be done. The place needs help, but Alan is a tough nut to crack and it’s highly likely he’s going to keep saying no until the day he dies.”

With that, I lifted my head away from his shoulder, stood, and gave him a small smile. “I’m going to turn in as well. Good night, Remington. Thanks again for all your help today.”

While I really did believe him and accept his apology, I wasn’t ready to spend the night with him again. With his lips so close to mine and my body wanting to be enveloped by the warmth of his, it was only a matter of time before I gave in if I didn’t go to sleep now.

He smiled at me, his gaze lingering on my lips for a long moment. I turned and walked toward my tent, feeling better about the situation but proud of myself for going to bed alone. Ultimately, I still needed time to process everything and I was exhausted too.

It was better for everyone if we both just got some sleep tonight.

29

REMINGTON

Early the next morning, the girls were up and fed and we were going on a hike. It was a hot, beautiful day with not a cloud in the sky or a breath of wind. I’d packed extra water into my backpack just in case, and Birdie had enough sunscreen in hers to protect an army.

She was up ahead with Heather. I tagged behind Laurene and Cassidy, who had become thick as thieves. The girls walked with their heads bent together, whispering and giggling, occasionally turning to glance back at me.

I frowned, amused but not sure if I should be worried about what they were talking about. Fallen leaves and twigs from all the recent storms crunched beneath my feet as we walked, but I still heard snippets of their conversation here and there.

“—to Birdie last night,” and “—close ever since we got here.”

My eyes narrowed and the pieces of the puzzle finally clicked into place. They were whispering about Birdie and me, which was surprising considering that I’d thought we’d been more than discreet.