Page 84 of Hometown Hottie

Everything in me rejected that statement. My stomach tightened into knots and my heart stammered. “It’s not that I’m not willing to be patient. I am. I have been. It’s just that every time I think we’ve taken a step forward, she goes and takes fifty steps back. It makes me wonder if she even wants this at all.”

“She does,” Mom said confidently. “I was always surprised that you two didn’t get together back in high school. You were so in love with her and she was so in love with you.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” I grumbled. “I might’ve been in love with her, but she didn’t feel the same way.”

“Oh, yes, she did.” Mom laughed softly, her head shaking as her eyes glazed over with a memory. “I remember watching her at your games. She always pretended she was there for Ryan, but he may as well never have been on the field for all the attention she paid her brother.”

“Well, he’s the only one she seems to be paying much attention to now,” I said.

Mom tilted her head to the side as doubt splashed across her features. “She’s not the only one, my dear boy. I think you’re both too worried about Ryan. He’s a big brother. Of course, he’s protective, but he will survive once he finds out the truth. I bet he even expects it. Suspects it, at the very least.”

“It’s more than that.” I sighed, then told her for the first time what had happened between us all back in the day.

To my surprise, she laughed again. “Oh, my sweet boy. Is that what you’re afraid of? That he’s going to punch you again?”

“No. I’m afraid he’s never going to forgive either of us, and I think Nova’s scared of it too.”

Mom slid a couple of pancakes onto her plate, silent while she fixed them with all the trimmings before she finally looked back at me. “You don’t know whether or not he’ll forgive you. I’m sure he will, but I’m also sure neither of you will ever forgive yourselves if you don’t work this out. Talk to her, sweetheart.”

“I thought I had.”

She chuckled. “If you had, you wouldn’t think it. You’d know it. Try again, and this time, take the time to really listen to her before you get… distracted.”

My eyebrows shot up when she winked at me. “Mom!”

Her head dropped back as she started laughing and shaking her head at me all over again. “Don’t you Mom me, Carson Drake. I was young once too. I know how these things go, but promise me that the next time you talk to her, you’ll keep your wits about you and use your head. Nova loves her family, but she also loves you. If you two really try, you can work out all these other things and finally give me those grandbabies I’m waiting for.”

“What if we can’t?”

She held my gaze, the humor melting away as a profound sadness filled her eyes. “That’s not an option, Carson. You listen to me and you listen well. Do not let her slip through your fingers. If you love her like I think you do, then you cannot allow her to push you away. Not for anything, but least of all for her brother.”

“I’m not sure that’s my decision to make.”

She sighed and reached for me, her eyes intent on mine as she tightened her grip on my hand. “I don’t know if Ryan will forgive you two for being together, but aside from you two not forgiving yourself if you don’t try, just remember that Ryan won’t forgive himself either if he ever finds out he stood in the way of both of your happiness.”

I stared back at her, not sure if she was right about that one, but then she released my hand and gave me a meaningful look. “He wants her to be happy, Carson. It might take him some time to accept she’s found that happiness with you, but if there’s one thing everyone knows about Ryan Murphy, it’s that he puts his family’s well-being above everything else. He will learn to live with it, but it’ll kill him if he learns he’s responsible for breaking his sister’s heart. Or that he’s responsible for her breaking it herself.”

That much, I knew was true. Ryan would kill me if I hurt his sister, but if he found out that he did? I just didn’t think he’d be able to forgive himself. Or me. Or her. It was just another complication to add to all the other complications I had to work my way through, but Mom had made a few good points. I needed to sort this out and I would find a way to do it. Even if I had no clue right now where I would even start.