Page 47 of Hometown Hottie

23

NOVA

Feeling like there was a weight tied to the bottom of my soul, I went to find Ryan once I got back to the ranch, but he wasn’t there. He wasn’t at his place, my place, or our parents’. Figuring that he’d probably gone down to the bar, I heaved out a heavy breath and headed to the bakery.

There was no way I was going to be able to fall asleep right now and there was a lot of work to be done, so I spent a few hours being productive and allowing the repetitive motions of my baking to drown my thoughts.

After midnight, I stumbled to my bed and stripped down, not even bothering with pajamas as I collapsed onto the mattress and waited for sleep to steal me. Exhausted as I was though, it didn’t come. I wasn’t entirely sure it would.

Unable to get Carson out of my head, I pondered texting him. To say what, I didn’t know, but I kind of just wanted to talk to him. These days, I felt like every time I turned, he was there. I just didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

I knew what Ryan would think and what Ryan wanted me to think, but despite the guilt that still plagued me about those kisses, I just couldn’t convince myself that Carson’s rock-like presence in my life all of a sudden was bad. Ryan had sacrificed a lot, but none of it was Carson’s fault.

Was I about to throw away a great man just because my brother had a bee in his bonnet?

At some point while I was thinking it all over for the umpteenth time, I must’ve finally drifted off because the next thing I knew, my alarm was screaming at me that it was time to wake up. I groaned as I rolled over in bed, feeling like someone had rubbed sand in my eyes. I forced myself to get up and felt mildly more human once I’d had a long, hot shower.

As always, the morning routine at the bakery not only woke me up but cheered me up a little bit, and as I was setting up for Cassidy to take over for the day, I even finally found my brother. Or, more accurately, he found me—and he looked awful.

Luckily it’s too early for customers. If he pitches a fit, at least we won’t have an audience.

Ryan knocked on the outside door and I went to get it. His eyes were so bloodshot and watery that it looked like he’d spent all night crying. Even before I opened the door and caught a whiff of whiskey wafting off him, I suspected that he’d drowned his sorrows in copious amounts of alcohol all night long.

“Coffee?” I offered as I stepped aside and let him in.

He groaned and gave me a nod. “The strongest you’ve got. Also, if you’ve got any whiskey, make it a dirty coffee.”

“I’m afraid the dog that bit you took all its hair with it. I don’t have any,” I said sympathetically. “I can help with the caffeine, though.”

“I’ll take it.”

Ryan’s dark hair was sticking up at all angles, and it was damp, which told me that he’d already showered, but I wasn’t entirely sure it had sobered him up. Especially after I told him what Carson had told me, and all Ryan did was shrug.

The expression in his eyes was lifeless and flat as he sipped his coffee. “Maybe we should take him up on his offer.”

“What?” I was so surprised that my voice came out high-pitched.

Ryan winced and held his forehead. “Keep it down, will you?”

“Sorry, but what? You want to take Carson’s offer? I thought for sure you were going to tell him to go fuck himself.”

My brother shrugged again, his shoulders slumping. He drained his first cup of coffee and pushed the mug across the counter to me for another. “Trust me, I wish I could, but if he buys the ranch, your bakery could stay here. You could stay in your cottage. The weekend market will keep running the way it always had. I hate to say it, but it might be our best option. Your best option.”

I could tell that he truly hated the idea, and I understood where he was coming from. Ryan was a proud man. Always had been. Like my father, they didn’t talk much about their emotions and they didn’t sit around crying about stuff. I knew how much it would be hurting him just to be saying what he was.

“What’s changed?” I asked. “A week ago, you wouldn’t have even considered this, so what’s going on?”

“We don’t have any other options,” he said on a pained groan. “Man, this conversation is making me feel sick, but I’ll pay Carson back eventually, and we’ll get to keep the ranch. He gets to be a hero again, and I won’t be the jackass that lost our family’s land, forcing us to share a house in a city someplace far away from here.”

“Why would we move to a city?”

He snorted. “None of us would be able to stick around here if we lose the ranch, Nova. It’d hurt too much.”

“Okay, but why would we all be sharing a house? I don’t like Frank at all, but so far, the offers have been alright.”

He shut me up with a pleading look. “You’re zeroing in on the wrong thing. The point is, if we take Carson’s offer, none of that will happen and we’ll be able to stop worrying about money all the damn time.”

“What if Carson doesn’t allow us to pay him back?”