Page 103 of Hometown Hottie

“Thanks, but no thanks.” I didn’t hesitate to turn him down. “I haven’t forgotten that there are other women out there, or that they don’t have surly older brothers, or that there is life after Nova romantically. I’m just not interested right now. I’ve only ever felt that spark with her and I’m tired of chasing it.”

All true.

With hindsight being twenty-twenty and all, I’d realized that I’d been chasing that spark for a decade. I’d searched far and wide, and yet, I’d only found it again when I’d come back here and reconnected with her. I wasn’t thinking of giving broadcasting a try so I could go search for it someplace else.

Eventually, maybe I would, but for now, I just felt like I needed something to fill the void. Vance followed me through the rest of the house, not looking any more excited about it when we left than he had when we’d arrived.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked. “I kept waiting for something to jump out at me, but it didn’t happen. There’s just no real potential here, man. Not that I can see, anyway.”

“Yeah, I know,” I replied. “It’s perfect. I’m going to make an offer. It’s a good-sized property and I’ll have someone fix it up while I’m going through the motions to secure a sports broadcasting gig back in LA.”

“Don’t give up yet, bro. Please? You’ve got a lot going here and I know you’ve been through the wringer with the Murphys since we’ve been back, but there’s more to being home than just them.”

“I know, which is why this will still be home.”

He climbed into the passenger seat of my truck, but when I headed toward his place, he shook his head. “If you’re serious about broadcasting and about making an offer on that place, we need to go get a drink to celebrate.”

I barked out a dry laugh. “You really want to go out to celebrate me getting a house that’s practically falling in on itself?”

“Hey, it’s a fresh start. Besides, you said you’d get someone to fix it up. You’re also about to embark on a whole new career path. It’s not something I thought you’d ever be interested in, but if you are, then that’s something else we need to drink to.”

I wasn’t in the mood at all, but I let him convince me and eventually drove to Moe’s instead. All day, I’d been waiting to feel something inside, but it felt like I’d had everything that should’ve been in there ripped out.

Of course, that changed when we walked into Moe’s and I saw Nova there with her friends. She was at the bar, not exactly laughing or looking like she was having a good time, but she was there, and suddenly, my heart and soul were back.

But they were gray and stormy. Just not feeling right.

Bitterness swirled through me like acrid smoke. I knew it wasn’t fair, but in that moment, I was pissed at her. Pissed for letting her get under my skin when it should’ve been clear from the very beginning that we could never be together.

“Maybe we should try another bar,” Vance muttered when he saw who I was staring at. “The brewery? I really liked that⁠—”

I shook his hand off my shoulder. “We’re not leaving.”

He let out a deep, pained groan. “Alright. If you insist on torturing yourself, then I guess that’s your business.”

Without a word, I walked to the other side of the counter and signaled to the bartender that we wanted two beers. He brought them over, and Vance paid him before leading me away. I knew he was trying to keep some distance between Nova and me, but it wasn’t helping.

All that emptiness I’d been feeling was still filled with all kinds of negative shit I’d never felt before. Underneath it all, there was also regret, and longing, and even fucking uncertainty. So much uncertainty.

I had never felt as uncertain about absolutely fucking everything in my life as I had since I’d come back to Silver Springs. Feeling even more bitter than I had before, I watched her from across the bar.

Vance started talking to me about something, but I wasn’t listening. Wasn’t even pretending. I was too busy trying to hear what Nova was saying to her friends, even though I knew that there was no chance of it happening.

The sun was setting outside. Happy hour was starting. Moe’s was getting fuller by the minute. There was way too much chatter and laughter in the air for me to hear her all the way from over here, and yet, I was borderline itchy just for that. Just for the sound of her voice.

Somehow, seeing her wasn’t enough. I wanted to hear her. Feel her. Shit, I even wanted to smell her.

“Carson?” Vance broke into my thoughts, a concerned frown between his brows. “Are you okay? You look like you’re going to be sick.”

Before I could lie and tell him I was fine, a man approached her. A young guy. Probably around her own age. He walked right up to her like he had every right in the world to get close. Then he leaned in, smiling flirtatiously, and said something that made her look at him.

Only vaguely aware that Vance was still with me, I suddenly saw red. The itch won, and before I even knew what I was doing, I was up, across the bar, and standing between them, glowering at this guy I’d never seen before and defending the honor of a woman who wasn’t mine to defend.

Not so long ago, Vance had told me that I wasn’t batshit crazy. That I was just crazy in love. But as I stood there, ready to beat this guy to a pulp for just smiling at her, I had a feeling he’d been wrong. Some time between now and then, I’d lost it. I’d gone completely fucking insane and the worst part of all was that I wouldn’t have had it any other way.