Page 74 of Fake It For Him

“Open my eyes to what?” I lifted my chin and leaned back against the sofa with my own arms crossing. “My eyes are already wide fucking open. As for Maui, he wasn’t supposed to be there, but you know? It was really nice when he showed up when I needed him. I’m getting to know them and they’re not as bad as you seem to think they are.”

“Maybe they’re not,” he conceded. “Maybe they’re the best people on the whole planet, but this situation? It’s even worse than I thought it was.”

“It’s not!” I cried out, the exasperation sinking to the core of my being. “What is this really about, Mikey? What is so bad about this situation?”

Breathing heavily, he looked me right in the eyes, his body practically vibrating with either rage or frustration of his own. “You claim not to have any feelings for this guy, but your actions suggest otherwise. Honestly, from where I’m sitting, you’re falling headfirst into a world of pain, and when it hits, you’re going to be heartbroken and you’re going to flee to the other side of the world again. And this time, you’re going to have the money to stay there. What you’re doing with him is going to be your ticket and your motivation to run for the rest of your fucking life and you can’t see it.”

My hackles slammed up, but then I deflated. Hearing it that way? He wasn’t wrong. The few days we’d spent in Maui together had been incredible, and the way my heart had raced when I’d first realized he was there? I was falling. For sure. For a man who only needed me for the next few weeks.

After that, he’d go back to propositioning random strangers he met on the street and I’d be heartbroken, pining over him and hating myself for once again having believed that maybe we could be something more.

Kara’s mouth fell open as she stared at me. “Seriously?”

I sighed, shrinking into the sofa, and I drew my knees up to my chest. “Yes. Seriously. I should’ve noticed sooner, but I’m pretty sure I’m head over heels for him in the worst way. He’s trouble. He’s messy. He’s made mistakes, but he’s also showed up for me when I needed him. He has this way of making me look at things differently. Of allowing me to show him the worst parts of myself and still making me feel accepted for them. Loved, even.”

“Kara and I have shown up for you when you needed us too,” Mikey pointed out. “Doesn’t mean you’re in love with us. You just said it yourself, Ella. This guy is trouble. I know you stand to make a lot of money from this, but I think it’s time to cut him loose.”

“I can’t do that.” Not only because of the money. In fact, that was very much playing second fiddle at this point. I couldn’t cut him loose because I didn’t want him out of my life just yet. I couldn’t bear having to lose him right now. Today.

I looked back up at Mikey. “I know that he’s trouble, but he’s also not the guy you think he is. He’s messy. Hell, we’re messy together, but he’s also made me feel things I’ve never felt before. He⁠—”

“Oh, snap out it of it.” He glared at me. “A vibrator can make you feel those things too. If you’re that hard up, go out and fucking splurge on a good one. Shit, I’ll even buy you one for Christmas.”

Hurt ricocheted through me. “I wasn’t talking about the sex, Mikey. Do you really think I’m that shallow? The sex with him is amazing, sure, but that’s not what this is about at all. I’ve never had a boyfriend who supports me like he does.”

“You still fucking don’t!” Mikey roared. “He’s not your boyfriend, Ella. He’s your client. He’s paying you for all of this. I’m so sick of having to hold my tongue and act like this is all fine. It’s not. It’s just not.”

“Yeah? Well, I’m so sick of your judgment, and you know what? I don’t have to sit here and take it. You have no idea what you’re talking about. You have no idea what my relationship with him is like and you have no fucking idea who or what he is, and I’m tired of constantly having to justify myself to you.”

As I scooted forward and off the sofa, Kara stepped up and put her hands up, trying to diffuse the situation. “Let’s just all take a deep breath, shall we? I get that you both have strong feelings about this, but it’s getting ugly now. You two love each other. Don’t forget that.”

“I used to love him,” I said as I glanced at Mikey. “These days, I’m not so sure he’s the guy he was when we became friends. I sure as hell don’t remember him being this preachy and judgmental.”

As I said it, Mikey scoffed. “Yeah, well, I don’t remember you spreading your legs for money and fooling yourself into believing the guy loves you for you.”

Red flashed in my field of vision, and my hand rose to slap him before Kara got between us. Trembling with rage, I dropped my hand back to my side, spun around, and grabbed my bags. I’d never been so happy not to have had anywhere to unpack.

I darted into the bathroom to grab my toiletries, and all I could think about was getting out of there. Kara protested when she realized I was leaving, but I was too angry to hear what she was saying. Ears buzzing, I calmed down enough to thank her for letting me stay, and then I left, but I had no idea where I was going.

Too worked up to think properly, I found myself calling Calan. The line barely rang before he picked up. “Ella? Missing me already?”

“I don’t have anywhere to sleep tonight,” I said, my voice shaky and my heart pulsing with pain. “Can I come over?”

“I’m on my way, baby. Hang tight. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Okay?”

“Okay,” I mumbled, my eyes slamming shut. I inhaled deeply.

Mikey could talk as much shit as he wanted about this guy, but Calan had never failed to come through for me. Even now, without asking any questions, he was just on his way.

Did that mean he loved me too? Probably not, but he was still willing to be there for me, and right now, that was enough. It was all I had. It was everything.

39

CALAN

I slammed to a stop outside of Kara and Mikey’s apartment building, tires squealing. My girl was leaning against the exterior wall. Her cheeks were glistening with tears and her head was resting back, her eyes on the sky until she heard me arrive.

When she dropped her chin and looked at me, it was clear she was distraught—and since she was surrounded by her bags, I assumed she’d had a fight with her friends. I engaged the emergency brake with a yank, practically falling out of my car in my haste to get to her.