Page 60 of Fake It For Him

It had never been more true than right now, though. In this very moment, I felt like I’d move heaven and earth to put the smile back on her face. I just didn’t know how to do it.

This was unfamiliar, uncharted territory for me. Actually giving a shit about someone other than myself.

“What do we have to fix?” I asked, genuinely confused. “Why can’t you accept it? I thought it was a great gift.”

“It is.” She peered at me through her fingers, her eyes teary and miserable. “That’s why I can’t accept it. I’m a fraud, Calan.”

“You’re not a fraud,” I said immediately. “You’re here, aren’t you? Clearly, she likes you and she wanted to do this for you. That has nothing to do with⁠—”

“She said it was a welcome to the family gift,” Ella protested. Her hands slid down her face to grip the counter behind her. Her shoulders sagged, her eyes closing, and she dropped her chin and breathed in deep. “That has everything to do with our lie, Calan. She didn’t buy it for me just because she likes me. She bought it because she thinks she’s building a relationship with her brother’s girlfriend.”

She looked so damn defeated as she stood there, still wearing her beautiful dress but stripped bare emotionally. “This is harder than I thought it would be, and now that things are starting to feel real, I’m not sure how to move forward. I’m not sure if we should move forward.”

No! Fuck. I stepped up to the plate—as well as I could anyway—and wrapped my arms around her shoulders, hoping that hugging her would help. Hugs were supposed to help everything, right?

I’d never been much of a fan, but I knew some people liked them. Why else would people just keep randomly holding each other?

“Just take a deep breath,” I murmured against her hair. “It’s going to be okay. You’re not a fraud. Right now, we’re as together as anyone else. There are never any guarantees that it’s going to work out.”

“Yeah, but in our case, there’s a contract that guarantees it’s not going to.” Her voice was muffled by my chest as she buried her face in it. “I don’t know if I can keep doing this. Not for another whole month. The idea of sitting there at the ceremony pretending to be something I’m not makes me sick.”

When she said it, I realized she wasn’t just upset. She was getting cold feet, and if I let her, she was going to walk away. I held her a little bit tighter, not liking the thought of her leaving just yet. “You can’t bail on me now, Ella. We’re halfway there. I need you.”

She snorted before she looked up at me, misery and tears still swimming in those big green eyes as she shook her head. Her face was pale, her expression drawn, and the corners of her mouth turned down as she dropped her head back to keep her eyes on mine.

“You don’t need me. If I break up with you now, they’ll think you’re heartbroken. It might even work in your favor.”

“Not if they think I’m going to go after Finn’s girl as a rebound,” I pointed out, sliding my hands down to her hips. “Please, Ella? I thought you had plans for that money.”

“I do, but I’m honestly not sure if it’s worth it anymore. You might have to find someone else. I know it’ll take a bit of explaining, but you can blame it on me. Tell your family I hopped on a plane and you don’t know if or when I’m going to be back.”

“I can’t do that,” I said. “If I do, they’ll think I did something that made you ghost me. Besides, I don’t want to blame anything on you. I just want to keep going.”

“Yeah? Well, I don’t. More accurately, I can’t.” Her gaze drifted back to the gift box on the counter and she dragged in another shuddering breath, her body going limp in my arms. It was like I could feel the fight and determination draining out of her, and I didn’t like it one bit.

“I’m not going to let you duck out,” I said vehemently, bending my knees and pulling back so I could look her right in the eye as I gripped her hips. “We’ve got a legally binding contract in place.”

She was so dejected that not even that snapped her out of it. “So sue me.”

I scoffed. “What the hell has gotten into you? Is all of this really just about one gift?”

“It’s not about the actual gift, Calan. It’s about what it means to someone you love. She’s your baby sister, for crying out loud. Are you really okay with lying to her like this?”

“I put all this together knowing I was going to be lying to her about this. You knew that you were going to have to as well. I don’t understand where this is coming from now.”

Ella stepped out of my grasp and narrowed her eyes, her hand coming up to press against her chest. “It’s coming from in here. How do you not understand? I know we knew that we were going to be lying, but I didn’t know how difficult it was going to be. I didn’t know how real it was going to feel.”

“So what if it feels real?” I argued, shoving a hand into my hair. “If it feels real, it looks real. So let it feel however it feels. We know the deal. We’re not going to get hurt.”

“No, but Freya will. Your family really believes us, Calan. Didn’t you hear your mom earlier, offering to share her wine? Freya’s gift…” She shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut. “We can’t do this to them. I can’t do this to them.”

“Yes, you can,” I said fiercely. “You’re not bailing at the first sign of trouble. I won’t let you. Pull it together.”

Ella spun away from me, placing her palms flat on the counter behind her as she hung her head. “I can’t. It doesn’t matter what you will or will not let me do. I cannot go through with this.”

“Yes, you can,” I repeated, staring at her collapsed shoulders as she gulped in a few deep breaths. If I was a real caretaker, I’d know what to say to pull her back from the edge just like she’d done for me earlier, but I wasn’t and I didn’t.

“You got my head on straight at the party, Ella. If it wasn’t for you, I would’ve fucked up, but you didn’t let me. I won’t let you. Even if I have to lock you in here for the rest of the month, I’ll do it. What we’re doing here is worth it. It’s going to allow you to live your dream, remember? It’s my turn to shake some sense into you now, like you did for me, and I won’t let you throw it all away just because you’re having a crisis of conscience.”