Page 74 of All for Love

MERCEDES

Kody and I missed each other all day at the office on Monday. Every time I tried to poke my head into his office to say hello, he was either on a call or stuck in a meeting. Every time he’d managed to track me down, I’d been coaching staff on how to use the new software on their computers that I’d used to condense and organize all their files.

It was all going well, but I’d become very aware that I’d be finished in the office at the end of this week, one week before Christmas. Then Kody and I wouldn’t have an excuse to be close to each other five days a week anymore.

It’d only been one day that we hadn’t managed to get to see much of each other, and it’d been harder to get through than I’d have imagined. After the night we’d had together after the party, it felt like I was addicted to him.

Obsessed with him.

I needed another fix. Some time together. Anything.

But I couldn’t have it.

I would also never admit it out loud—least of all to him if I didn’t want him running for the hills—but it was true. I needed Kody like I needed oxygen, water, and food.

As I left the office, I knew he was still there. Upstairs in the executive conference room, he was in some high-powered meeting with the Wagner Industries in Sydney and his assistant had told me they expected it to last well into the night.

Part of me wanted to go up there to see him in action. He was a true artist at his job. I’d seen it once or twice in passing, and it was incredible to behold him in his element like that. He could sell anything and he paved the way for their products to be distributed successfully into countries other companies stood no chance in.

Kaden got most of the credit because he was on the product development and creation side of the company, but as far as I was concerned, Kody was the real magician. I knew it wasn’t a competition and I knew that one of the things that made Wagner what it was these days was their ability to work as such an outstanding team, but Kaden could create stuff until he was blue in the face.

If he didn’t have Kody to sell it, he’d have been screwed.

Instead of heading upstairs and acting like a stalker or a groupie by watching him conduct his meeting through the conference-room window, I headed to my car and got in. I fired off a quick text to let my mother know I was on my way. I needed to keep living my own life despite the extent of my feelings for Kody.

Soon enough, he and I would part ways and not find our way back together, and I had to be ready for that day when it came. I couldn’t afford to indulge my desire to see him at every turn unless I wanted it to destroy me when it eventually ended.

Mom texted back a bunch of thumbs-up and smiley-face emojis, and I drew in a deep breath, smiling at the screen before I tossed the phone on my passenger seat and turned over the engine. She and I were having dinner together, just the two of us.

I’d been looking forward to it since we’d made the date on Sunday morning, and now I just had to get into the right headspace for it again. So what if I hadn’t seen Kody much today. It wasn’t the end of the world.

Sure, I missed him, but I was sure Mom missed her husband too. I was sure she’d rather have had him come with us too, but we’d both survive. And sure, she’d be seeing her man when she got home and I wouldn’t, but not too long ago, they’d been here and neither of them had ceased to exist.

I’d been fine. Working at Wagner Industries and having so many events with them over weekends was just starting to make my world feel smaller. That was all there was to it, and dinner with Mom was a good way to remind myself that there was more to life than Kody Wagner.

I met her at a restaurant we used to frequent when I’d been growing up. It was a hole in the wall, family-owned place with the best French fries. Still feeling a bit glum when I arrived, I perked up a bit when I saw Mom had already ordered us a helping. I popped a fry in my mouth even as I opened my arms to hug her hello.

“It’s so good to see you, darling,” Mom said as she squeezed me. “We should do this more often, you and me. Mother and daughter dates.”

I swallowed my perfectly crisp, fluffy fry and smiled. I released her. “I’m in, but I guess the real question is whether you’ll have time between your responsibilities as a Wagner and being a wife.”

She waved me off, but her cheeks flushed as she sat back down. “I’ll always have time for you. You know that. These last few months have been busy, but the holiday season will be over soon enough. My husband will be back at the office, so being a wife won’t get in the way of us spending time together, and being a mother has always come first. How are you?”

“I’m okay.” I sat down across from her and popped another fry into my mouth. “How was the rest of the party?”

“Oh, it was so wonderful,” she gushed, and then she kept gushing while I munched on our fries and eventually got a frozen margarita to go with them. “I’m so excited for Christmas. Aren’t you?”

I nodded, even though I still felt a bit like the Grinch. “Sure. Have you guys finalized the plans?”

Her eyes went wide, shining bright with excitement. She sipped her Mai Tai, swallowing before she proceeded to tell me all about it. “Yes, we have. Now for starters, I know we’ve been celebrating the holidays a certain way for a long time now, but are you open to changing things up now that our family is bigger?”

“Sure.” It wasn’t like I had much of a choice, but a change-up wasn’t helping my Grinch-like blues about the upcoming holiday at all.

A holiday Kody and I would be spending together, but also not together. Unable to touch. To steal kisses under the mistletoe or cuddle up on the sofa with them all to watch a Christmas movie.

“Thank you, honey,” Mom said warmly. “I’d love it if you’ll come over on Christmas Eve, like we talked about before. The whole family will have dinner together, hang and stuff the stockings, and then we’re going to go for a walk around the neighborhood to look at all the fancy properties and their Christmas lights.”

My eyebrows hiked up, but thankfully, Mom was too caught up in her excitement about sharing their plans to notice. I’d have to remember to pack comfortable boots if we were going to be walking around.