Page 105 of I Choose You

I bored into her with my stare. You’re unforgettable.

Just like I’d spend the rest of my life remembering this conversation and hating how it had hurt.

“You’re sure?” she checked again.

I nodded, not having the heart to lie to her with words.

No.

36

BROOKE

I thought I’d struggled to focus yesterday when Kaden slipped and said he felt like he was my boyfriend. I had. But that was nothing compared to what I felt now.

Today was infinitely worse because, in hindsight, I realized how I would never hear that word out of his mouth again.

And that sucked. Big time.

If Sandra hadn’t shown up, I would have been in trouble. All day, I felt lost and distracted. I kept thinking about Kaden. Like a record on a loop, the memories hit me and pounded me further into a dark, bitter mood.

I’d slept like shit too, which predisposed me to a lousy day. I woke up from too little sleep, and after my rowing workout, I felt sluggish and in need of a nap, not energized.

The dejected expression he wore when I told him the truth. That aloof, almost indifferent way he’d told me why I had to still come to the wedding events. They hurt.

I had no respite from those memories assaulting my sanity. But they weren’t as bad as the other ones. I’d expected the guilt. It swept in and claimed me from the moment Kody stormed out of this office. Knowing I’d hurt Kaden guaranteed I’d have a boulder of guilt weighing me down.

I expected it to eat at me. But there was more to it.

The way he smiled when he offered me those egg whites.

Each time he laughed at my silliness

All those occasions I’d caught him checking me out and fanning my desire.

How he’d held my hand, knowing I’d wanted his support.

I thunked my forehead on my desktop. “I am such a fool.”

I missed him. That hurt the worst.

Last night, after I spilled the truth, he stared at me like I was a stranger, and that caused a hard ache to swell deep down inside me.

It wasn’t fair that this would hit me now. Fate was playing a wicked, twisted, and cruel joke on me. It was after the fact that I had to acknowledge I had feelings for him. I’d feared that I was falling for him when I snuggled into his hold in his bed. I’d suspected it could happen. But even then, it was already too late. I’d already fallen for him.

And now I’d gone and imploded something that could have been amazing.

When my phone buzzed, I let it vibrate and dance across my desk. Honestly, I didn’t care who it was. I didn’t want to be cheerful and talk to anyone. He wouldn’t be calling me.

But I sat up anyway and looked at the screen.

Rena.

I sighed and answered. “Hey, girl.”

“Just wanted to say goodbye,” she said. “My flight for Spain is about to leave and I didn’t want to text.”

“Have fun,” I said.