Page 28 of Unfettered

“Really?” For a moment, I’m excited, before I realize… “What about Roman?”

“Not until he starts therapy.”

Groaning, I put my hand over my face. Fuck. I’ve been staying here with him for a while, even though I’ve been allowed to leave. While I’m glad I’m not being put in lockdown again, I want him out too. Fuck it. As soon as I’m done with my nap, Operation: Get Roman Into Therapy is going into effect…

Anderson doesn’t say a word as he leaves, but as I’m falling asleep, I start thinking about ways to convince Roman that he needs to see Connor. Because I want my love with me. It’s time we venture out, and that means facing what we fear. I won’t let the box we were held in ruin our future. Not when we have so many people ready to catch us if we ever fall again.

Watching Cristian’s relaxed features, thanks to the sedation he’s under, I can’t help but wonder how we got here. Yes, it was my choice to end our marriage, my choice to throw away everything we’d worked for, but if anyone thinks it was easy…I’d like them to go through what I have and come out the other side the same person they were.

I told him we didn’t ever leave that room, and I meant it. Months apart, falling in love with Marcus and Keegan, finding my feet as a leader of the Council…it all culminated in giving me a clarity and perspective I’d never had before.

My love for Cristian changed and grew. I’ll always love him. In a lot of ways, we’ll always be tied together, even when our marriage finally ends legally. Roman is our son, and we’ll always be there for him. Even though he’s an adult, I know how badly he wants us both in his life, even if he’s unwilling to admit that at the moment.

I can’t say I fell out of love with Cristian. Though that would be easier to manage than knowing I can love him but am not able to be with him. Sometimes, love isn’t enough. The life we had…it wasn’t enough. I can see that now. Free from the box he, my father, and my brother all put me in, I finally have a chance to use the tools they gave me and find out where I belong.

For that, as hard as the realization is, knowing we weren’t as right for each other as I once believed, I’ll always be thankful for the chance to love him. To help raise our son, and to learn how strong I really am.

Reaching out, I take Cristian’s hand in mine, hating how cold and lifeless it feels, even though I can see him alive and breathing right in front of me.

“Thank you,” I whisper. “Thank you for saving my love. For giving me my life, and…for loving me.”

The door to the room opens and I look up, uncaring if I’m wearing my emotions on my face. I'm not ashamed of the love I have for this man. Raising my free hand to my lips, I ask Tennant and Allesandro to be quiet, nodding in the direction of where Roman is curled up on the cot that Doc brought in for him, fast asleep.

“How long has he been sleeping for?” Tennant signs.

I shrug. Removing my hand from Cristian’s, I respond, “Probably an hour or so. It hasn’t been restful, though. He needs real sleep, but he refuses to leave.”

Tennant shakes his head and crosses the room to scoop Roman up. He stirs a little, letting out a soft cry as Tennant adjusts him in his arms. “Shhh, Little Prince. It’s just me. Let me make you more comfortable.”

“Dad…”

“Is fine. He’s not going anywhere, and neither are you.” Tennant sits on the cot with Roman in his lap, and Roman doesn’t fight him as he shifts the boy in his arms until he’s draped over Ten’s front.

As if realizing he’s now safe and secure, Roman sighs loudly, but doesn’t move.

I raise an eyebrow at Ten, who shrugs. “Lio is meeting with Anderson in Roman’s room. I’ll move him there once I get word they’re finished. He’ll rest easier with Lio nearby, but for now, this works.”

I’ll let Tennant deal with that, trusting he knows what to do with Roman. As long as my son is taken care of. And I know that, between all of Roman’s lovers, he will be. There’s nothing more I could want for the boy.

Allesandro takes a seat beside me. “When was the last time you left this room?” he asks quietly. “Aside from the Council update with Doc and Javi.”

I shrug. “I haven’t. Roman’s needed me.”

“Cristian wouldn’t want that for you,” Allesandro says gently. “As hurt as he is about the two of you, I know he still loves you and wants you to be happy. He wouldn’t want to wake up to find you’ve given up your life for him. You need proper rest as badly as Roman does.”

I suck in a breath. “I know, but…”

“No buts. You have two men who love you, and want to worship the ground you walk on. Plus another son. Let them take care of you. Cristian and Roman will be fine. Ten and I are here to make sure of it.”

I turn my head to look at Allesandro, though he keeps his attention on Cristian. “He loves you,” I tell him. “Even if he doesn’t know how to express it. I hurt him, deeply, and I acknowledge that. But don’t let him push you away, because he’s a dumbass and can drag his feet when he wants to. He’s stubborn”—Tennant snorts and mutters “understatement”—“but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care.”

“I know. I’m not giving up on him.”

“Good.”

Allesandro turns to me, his bright blue eyes holding a clarity that’s been missing for a long time now, and I can truly say I’m happy to see it again. “Go, Carter. Take time for yourself, sleep, let your loved ones take care of you. Roman’s and Cristian’s will do the same.”

I let out a slow breath. “You’ll call if something changes?”