Page 25 of The Neverfear

Anya jerked her head twice down to the right: the strongest Gaganan swearing. ‘Giants,’ she gasped. There was terror in her voice.

The Obvious Superiority Of The Small Over The Unattractively Gargantuan

Christopher had known they would be huge, but they were monumental. Their faces were hawk-nosed, rough-skinned, their fists breathtaking walls of flesh. They spoke in a rumble so low that he more felt than heard it: it seemed to vibrate his organs. It took him time to realise they were speaking some version of English. He caught only occasional words – ‘hunt’, ‘mask’, ‘serpent’.

One of the giants gave a shout of laughter, and Christopher flinched and pressed his hands to his ears: it was like being assaulted by the air itself. The giants lumbered into the castle, their boots shaking the stone terrace.

‘What now?’ said Anya. Her eyes were wide.

‘We find the Cerberus.’ They looked again at the castle.

‘Before you cast yourselves merrily into the jaws of death,’ said Jacques, ‘may I suggest I go on a reconnaissance mission? I shall locate the dog, and report back.’ He turned to Christopher. ‘Take note: you must put it in my biography as incontrovertible evidence of my heroism. The chapter in my biography will be called “The Obvious Superiority of the Small Over the Unattractively Gargantuan”.’

Christopher laughed. ‘It’s a deal.’

‘Thank you, Jacques,’ said Anya.

The dragon gave a strange wriggle. Ratwin looked at him, her furry green eyebrows cocked.

‘That was me brushing off your thanks,’ he explained. ‘While I am gone, you could amuse yourselves by composing poetry in my honour. “Jaculus”, I note, rhymes nicely with “spectaculous”.’

Ten minutes passed as they waited hidden among the trees, then thirty. An hour. Christopher’s stomach rumbled.

‘I’m thirsty,’ said Anya.

‘Me too.’

Then, ten minutes later: ‘I’m really, really hungry.’

‘Me too.’

Anya pointed. ‘Look. Joro web.’ High up in the trees was a spiderweb as large as a billboard, with one long thread hanging all the way to the ground. ‘We had these in Dousha. Smaller though.’ She lifted a finger to touch the web. ‘It’s old. Not sticky – feel.’ She pulled the long thread free, and wound it round her hand. ‘Joro thread’s incredibly useful,’ she said. ‘I used to use it as a tripwire at the castle, when I didn’t want people coming into my room.’ She put it in the pocket of her filthy yellow silk dress. ‘I’m so thirsty I’m starting to wonder if it’s possible to drink your own blood.’

‘I think it would be counterproductive.’ Christopher turned to her. ‘Do you think they meant it when they said they’re watching us?’ He looked uneasily at the sky.

‘I’ve been looking out, and I haven’t seen any stymphalian birds. But … there’s so much I don’t know.’

Ratwin approached. ‘Forgives mes if you have alreadies decided,’ she said, ‘but I was wonderings, once Jacques finds the doglet, how you plans to do the pluckings.’

‘Meri said if you play music to a Cerberus, they fall asleep,’ said Anya. ‘He said they like birdsong. And dancing. It’s in the legend of Hercules.’

‘And what if this specifics dog is tone deafs?’ said Ratwin.

‘Then … we improvise,’ said Christopher.

The stars came out, and a bright moon rose. Christopher began to shiver.

‘Where is he?’ said Anya. ‘He should be back by now!’

At that moment there was a call – a call of triumph and fury – and Jacques flew into sight. Even from a distance, it was clear he was angry: he was wet, and his nostrils were steaming.

‘Are you all right?’ said Christopher.

‘No. I am decidedly not all right,’ said Jacques. ‘I was seen, and almost caught. I had to fly into a bathroom and hide under the rim of the tin lavatory bowl.’

‘And how was that?’ said Anya.

‘I was … not alone. A giant came in to … use the facilities.’