Page 89 of Snowed In with You

‘What if he sacks you off?’

‘I haven’t got that far,’ said Lucy. ‘I might go travelling. Take ayahuasca on a beach in Mexico and find myself.’

‘Sounds fun,’ said Jonno. ‘Can I come?’

‘No,’ said Lucy with the ghost of a smile. ‘You and Marcia already found each other.’

‘Yeah, I s’pose. Where are the jobs? The ones you’ve got interviews for?’

‘One in London, and one in New York.’ To be honest she’d only applied to go through the motions, and hadn’t really expected to get an interview for either. Right now it felt difficult to think about anything beyond today.

‘Wow,’ said Jonno.

‘If I end up in the States, you can come over to stay.’

‘Do bars in New York serve Three-Eyed Goblin? No, I don’t think they do.’ He was using humour to deflect from his feelings, as Jonno always did, but Lucy could tell that the idea of her being on the other side of the Atlantic was causing him pain.

‘Jonno, we both need to spread our wings. We’ve been drinking in the Brunel for over a decade. We always talk about why I’m still here, but never you. Why aren’t YOU applying for jobs in London and New York?’

Jonno said nothing for a moment while he considered the question. ‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘Marcia likes the countryside, Lottie and Ava are settled in school. Giving them everything they need is my number one priority, I guess.’

Lucy smiled, feeling a wave of love for her friend. ‘See, this is why we’re friends. You’re an incredibly selfless human.’

‘In four or five years they’ll both be in university and Marcia and I can decide what’s next. I might take early retirement, actually. That’s definitely an option. Spend some time travelling. Maybe take ayahuasca in Mexico with my incredibly beautiful wife.’

‘And in the meantime?’

He turned to glance at her, then fixed his eyes back on the road. ‘I actually really love my job, Luce. I just love it more when you’re there. It kind of hurts to realise you don’t need me any more.’

Lucy laughed. ‘Did I ever really NEED you?’ She knew the answer to that, obviously, but it didn’t make it any easier to admit.

‘Yeah, you did,’ said Jonno firmly. ‘When you started at LUNA it was about eight months after Leo died, and I was living in a house with two girls under five. We were both shellshocked and looking for a lifeboat.’

‘Those two metaphors don’t really go together, just so you know.’

‘Fuck off,’ laughed Jonno. ‘You do the words, I do the pictures. Remember?’

‘Yeah, OK.’ Lucy grinned.

‘You’d been through a lot, and were a vulnerable mess. I liked you, and I wanted to protect you. I still do.’

‘Thank you,’ said Lucy, blinking away tears. ‘You are, without question, the love of my life.’

‘That’s a lovely thing to say,’ said Jonno. ‘But I think we both know that it’s time for you to . . . I don’t know.’

‘Transfer that love to someone else?’ suggested Lucy.

‘Yeah,’ said Jonno sadly. ‘Leo had it for the first twenty-one years, I’ve had it for the past eleven, in a different way. And now it’s Nate’s turn.’

Lucy looked at him hopefully. ‘You really think? You don’t think I’m insane?’

‘Oh, I absolutely think you’re insane,’ laughed Jonno. ‘You’ve quit your job, dumped your millionaire boyfriend, and now we’re on the way to London so you can declare your undying love to a pop star, even though I have to be up at six tomorrow to drive Lottie and her friends to Alton Towers. We’re both absolutely mental.’

‘I’m technically supposed to wait until tonight’s show is over,’ said Lucy. ‘Sasha made me promise.’

Jonno’s brow furrowed. ‘What the fuck has it got to do with Sasha?’

Lucy smiled, then pulled out her phone and swiped to her camera.