Page 65 of Snowed In with You

‘Because I think you like him more than you’re letting on.’

‘And since when were you the expert on women’s feelings?’

‘Since my amazing wife decided I needed to read some Caitlin Moran books so I can better help our daughters navigate the road to womanhood.’

‘Jesus,’ said Lucy, choking on her cider. ‘That sounds horrific.’

‘I’ve finished How to Build a Girl, and I’m now on to How to Be a Woman. They’re going to help me be more attuned to women’s needs, apparently.’

‘Christ, I’ve heard it all now. You’re wrong, obviously, but even if I did have some kind of . . . feelings for him, what difference would it make? He’s gone, and I’m still here.’ She could feel the anger building, but it wasn’t directed at Jonno, or Nate. She was angry at herself, for opening up to Nate in a way she hadn’t for a long time. She’d told him things she’d never told anyone, not even Jonno. And now that wound had been opened, conversations about Nate just felt like salt being rubbed in.

Jonno’s response was interrupted by Lucy’s phone buzzing with a message from Anthony. Hey babe, call me about wedding on Sat. Assume you have something drop dead to wear?

‘Oh, shit,’ muttered Lucy.

‘What is it?’

‘I’ve agreed to go a wedding on Saturday.’

‘Whose wedding?’

‘Anthony’s cousin.’

‘What, like an actual date? With Tentpole Tony?’

‘It’s not a date,’ said Lucy, pulling a face. ‘Something to do with his family expecting him to turn up with a woman.’

‘OK, this is incredible. You’re actually going on a date.’

‘I am NOT,’ insisted Lucy. ‘It’s a favour for a . . . friend.’

Jonno grinned and held up his hands. ‘You’re going to meet all his friends and family, and they’re all going to make a big fuss of you, and that is, by any standards, the definition of a date. He’s stealthed you into the girlfriend zone.’

Lucy shook her head and picked up her phone. My mate says you’ve stealthed me into the girlfriend zone, she typed. Confirm or deny?

Deny, replied Anthony immediately. You’re too cool for that kind of game.

She showed the message to Jonno and pulled a smug face. ‘See? You’re wrong.’

‘You know he doesn’t mean cool in a good way, right? He means cold. Emotionally unavailable.’

Lucy raised her eyebrows. ‘Well, thanks for making me feel really great about myself, J. I’m having a fabulous first day back.’

‘Oh, don’t be like that,’ said Jonno, wafting his hand at her. ‘Since when do you care what I think?’

‘Since forever, Jonno,’ said Lucy. ‘In fact, you’re at the top of a very short list of people whose honesty I value. But that doesn’t mean it’s always easy to hear.’

‘Shit, I’m sorry,’ he said, looking like he genuinely meant it. ‘You want to get dinner? Marcia’s been asking after you, we can pick something up for all of us.’

‘No,’ said Lucy, draining her glass. ‘I’m going to go home and drink wine in the bath.’

‘How dramatic,’ laughed Jonno. ‘But you know where I am if you change your mind.’

‘I really do,’ said Lucy affectionately, putting on her coat and dropping a kiss on his cheek. She hurried out of the pub towards the bus stop, pulling up the hood on her coat against the rain. Both Anthony and Marco would probably be available tonight, but right now she didn’t want to see anyone but Nate.

She stood under the shelter of the bus stop and pulled out her phone, then scrolled to his details to write him a WhatsApp message. But Sasha’s words earlier loomed big in her mind – Nate had other things to focus on right now, and Lucy wasn’t on the list. And anyway, what would be the point? He was living with Sasha, with all his hopes and dreams laid out in front of him, ready for the taking. Whereas she, Lucy Glover, thirty-two years old, was still in Bristol, her hopes and dreams locked in a box for so long that the lid had rusted shut and she’d forgotten what was in there.

She put her phone back in her bag as the bus swished to a stop in front of her, considering for one tantalising moment that maybe it was time for things to change.