Page 35 of The Only Way Is Up

‘Don’t ask,’ Daisy said glumly, mentally adding snowboarding lessons and equipment for Ruby to an ever-growing shopping list. ‘Let’s just say writing the book has gone from a distraction to a necessity.’

‘Tell me about it,’ muttered Justin, sinking his teeth into a pork roll.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

On the other side of the patio, Tom caught snatches of Daisy’s conversation about skiing and felt a familiar jolt of pain. He remembered the excitement of a winter holiday – he and Tessa had gone skiing for the first time the year after they got married, and once Tom started working at Shipton House they’d joined the Year 9 and 10 ski trip at Easter every year. But he hadn’t been since Tessa died, and the idea of skiing without her made him want to hurl himself off the side of a mountain.

He caught Daisy’s eye and she smiled, so he smiled back because it felt like the right thing to do, since smiling was what normal people did. As she weaved around the increasingly charred pig and picked her way towards him, he was forced to admit to something he’d been in denial about since they’d shared a flask of coffee in the car park of Mark’s slaughterhouse. He was falling for Daisy. Not because she looked like Tessa or anything weird like that, but because she was kind and beautiful and funny and she made him feel like he was seventeen again.

In some respects this felt quite cheering, because it confirmed that he wasn’t entirely dead inside and could one day hope to be stirred by a woman again. But it was also distinctly inconvenient, because women like Daisy didn’t fall for men like Tom. As she stopped in front of him, he resisted the urge to tuck away the curls escaping from her red bobble hat, instead burying his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

‘Hey.’ Daisy bent down to pat Henry on the head. The dog looked at her dolefully, clearly torn between a warm bed indoors and the prospect of meaty snacks outside. ‘Any plans for Christmas?’

Tom tried to hold her gaze, and wondered what she’d say about the dream he’d had last night, involving spectacular sex amid the piles of school reports on his office desk, Daisy’s breasts jiggling in Tom’s face as she rode him to a sweaty, vocal climax. Probably best not to mention it.

‘Probably just a quiet one,’ he forced out, wondering if he’d bother putting up any decorations this year. It was only ten days off, probably not worth it. ‘Er . . . I’ve had some more thoughts about the recipe testing, if you’d still like to do it.’

‘Absolutely,’ Daisy nodded happily. ‘When can we start?’

Tom thought for a second. ‘I’ll need to get permission from the parents over the holiday, so realistically it would be the first couple of weeks back in January. Are you still going to be here then?’

‘Yes, I think so. I’ve got nothing to rush back to London for, and here is a good place to finish the book. And it’s so close to Ruby.’

Tom noted the nothing to rush back for with a brief frisson of joy. Perhaps Christian was history after all? Although the gossip sites his secretary had been avidly pretending not to read at work suggested they were still very much a couple.

‘Are you looking forward to skiing?’ Tom wished he sounded less like a dreary teacher.

‘Sure,’ said Daisy. ‘It’ll be a bit different this year, with Melanie and Will coming. But I’m sure we’ll have a good time.’

‘Is your fiancé going?’ Tom asked casually.

‘No,’ said Daisy quickly. ‘He’s not.’ That’s good news, thought Tom, although he noted that she didn’t correct him on Christian being her fiancé. She gives, and then she takes away.

The party broke up around 10.30 p.m., when the snow turned to sleet, then rain. Gerald and Melanie had left half an hour earlier, and Tom noticed Will and Ruby make a swift exit, presumably so they could say their snog-based goodbyes outside Willow Cottage before Daisy got back. Stella and Miriam gathered up all the remaining food and helped Justin and Marcus carry it to Beech Cottage for Justin to turn into increasingly depressing meals over the coming days. Which just left Daisy helping Tom clear up all the plates and glasses and cutlery, then shuttling it into the kitchen so Tom could load the dishwasher.

As he slammed the door shut and pressed start, he turned to face Daisy, realising she was much closer than he’d realised. The only light came from the spotlight above the cooker and the patio bulb shining in through the French doors, which cast dramatic shadows over her face, making her look more beautiful than ever. In that moment, he wondered how he had ever thought she looked like Tessa, when she was so uniquely, gloriously Daisy. He had an overpowering urge to kiss her, and there was something in her eyes that suggested she might not mind.

‘Is that everything?’ he forced himself to ask, his voice sounding too loud in the muffled silence of the kitchen.

Daisy looked confused. ‘I’m sorry?’

‘Clearing up,’ he nodded outside. ‘Is there anything else we need to do?’

‘Just this.’ Daisy leaned in to kiss him, her lips gentle on his. He resisted for the barest second as his brain tried to process whether the thing he’d just been imagining in his head was really happening. But the warmth of Daisy’s lips on his was undeniably real, so he gathered her into his body and let his tongue tentatively touch hers. She tasted of cider and crackling and woodsmoke, and he allowed himself to surrender to chaotic desire for a few heady seconds before she pulled back.

‘Oh Christ, I’m so sorry!’ she said, holding her hand over her mouth.

Tom gave a short laugh, his eyes wide and his heart thumping. ‘Why are you sorry? I’m not.’

‘That seemed like such a good idea in the moment, but it wasn’t.’ Daisy stepped away, grabbing her coat from the hook by the door. ‘My life is a shitshow, you really don’t want to be anywhere near it.’

‘Hey,’ said Tom gently, walking over to her, his hands stilling hers as she fumbled to wrestle her arms in. ‘You think my life isn’t a shitshow? And forgive me, but you don’t seem like the kind of person who just randomly kisses people.’

Daisy blushed. ‘No, I’m really not. You just looked very . . . kissable. But things are a bit complicated right now, and I need to sort some stuff out before I decide whether I should be kissing anyone. I’m so sorry.’

Tom nodded thoughtfully. ‘Hmm. Do you think we should do it one more time, just so you can make a more evidence-based decision?’ He stared deep into Daisy’s eyes and stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. It felt like a once-in-a-lifetime moment.

‘Oh God. This is SUCH a bad idea,’ breathed Daisy. ‘But fuck it.’ She grabbed handfuls of his jumper and pressed herself into his body, letting him relish the softness of her lips and the smell of her perfume.