Page 91 of Never Gonna Happen

‘I didn’t want to spoil the surprise,’ said Jamie. ‘Your mum invited me weeks ago.’

‘How did you manage the drive?’

Jamie blushed and shuffled awkwardly on his bar stool. ‘OK, please don’t tell anyone because it makes me sound like a massive wanker, but Dad insisted we fly down by helicopter.’

Emily snorted with laughter, looking from Jamie to Leon to see if they were joking. ‘You came to my birthday party by helicopter?’

‘Sssh,’ said Jamie, looking horrified. ‘It was the only way I could get here with this stupid leg. I can’t sit in a car for that long without the Mauritian happy pills.’

‘How long did it take?’

‘About an hour. Leon is going to drive your car back tomorrow night so you can fly back with me on Monday morning.’

She looked at Leon, her eyes boggling. ‘Are you serious?’

Leon nodded and grinned. ‘Mr Hunter thought it would be a nice birthday present.’

‘Wow,’ said Emily. ‘I don’t know what to say. But just so you know, there are people here who will beat the shit out of you if they find out, so don’t tell anyone.’

‘Don’t tell anyone what?’ asked Kelly, muscling her way to the bar, Beth clutching her hand. ‘Surprise!’ she added, giving Emily a hug.

‘I was genuinely shocked,’ said Emily, picking Beth up and giving her a big kiss. ‘How’s my favourite goddaughter? Your dress is very pretty.’

‘You’re a fish,’ said Beth, picking at one of the sequins with her finger. Emily put her down and she immediately ran back to the dance floor to find Billy and Charlie.

‘Hey, Jamie,’ said Kelly, leaning over to give him a kiss on the cheek. ‘Those crutches have made your arms super-hench.’

Jamie laughed. ‘What does that actually mean?’

‘Like, fit. Built. Hunky.’

‘Oh,’ said Jamie, as Emily rolled her eyes. ‘Thanks.’

Kelly looked at Leon with evident interest.

‘Leon, this is my best friend, Kelly,’ said Emily. ‘Kelly, this is Leon. We work together.’

‘Hi, Leon,’ said Kelly, giving him her most becoming smile. ‘Shall we leave these lovebirds alone while you buy me a drink?’

Leon opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish, then nodded and followed Kelly to a gap further down the bar.

‘Uh-oh,’ said Emily with a grin.

‘Match made in heaven,’ said Jamie.

‘Thanks, Dad,’ said Emily, leaning her head against Martin’s shoulder as they watched Carol dancing enthusiastically with Simon, David and Eric. The song was ‘I Wanna Dance with Somebody’ by Whitney Houston, and Carol had chosen some dance moves that made her look like she was shaking out a picnic blanket. It was a heartfelt thank you, because Emily couldn’t remember the last time she’d had this much fun with so many people she loved.

‘Ah, your mum did most of the work,’ said Martin.

‘I know, but this must have cost a bit.’

Martin shrugged. ‘Not really. The DJ is one of David’s old school mates and your mum did the buffet with Janet next door. Kelly sorted the decorations, so everybody chipped in.’

‘I’ve had such a great time,’ said Emily. She’d had a bit too much to drink but was still in the happy-drunk phase. Later would herald the arrival of the over-emotional drunk phase, followed by the final I-need-a-pizza blotto phase.

‘I think your man needs rescuing,’ said Martin, nodding towards the bar. Emily looked over to see Jamie being chatted up by a woman in a red dress that elevated her boobs to about three inches below her chin, creating a convenient place for the saliva to pool. It was Stacey Connor, an old friend from school who she and Kelly used to go clubbing with occasionally, mostly because she’d shagged every doorman in Chichester and they never had to queue. Emily watched her beadily as she repeatedly touched Jamie’s arm and giggled, to which he responded with a polite but dead-eyed smile that offered her no encouragement whatsoever. God, he was amazing.

‘Back in a bit,’ said Emily, weaving her way over. Jamie looked relieved to see her and slid his hand around her waist, prompting Stacey to beat a hasty retreat towards the loos.