Page 41 of Never Gonna Happen

Emily shrugged. ‘Because that’s what always happens to women like me. I’ve had six proper boyfriends since I was fourteen, and every one of them has dumped me.’

Jamie sat forward so he was fully in her eyeline. ‘Are you serious?’

‘Yep,’ she nodded.

‘How is that possible?’

Emily leaned forward, peering into the flames. ‘Let’s see. The first one called me frigid when I wouldn’t wank him off on the school bus, then told everyone at school I’d done it anyway.’ She held out her thumb, then her index finger. ‘The second one dumped me by text message on a school trip to the Isle of Wight, no explanation given. The third one took my virginity, then slept with one of my friends the next day.’

Jamie’s eyebrows were off the charts. ‘Do you want more?’ she asked, and he gave a tiny nod, clearly not sure whether he did or not.

‘I had my first serious boyfriend at nineteen, and he binned me off after two years because it felt too heavy and he wanted to see other people. Then I was seeing this guy in London for about six months, we even went for a weekend to Amsterdam together. One day he completely ghosted me, just completely disappeared. I thought he was dead and got proper panicked about it, but he was just a massive stoner who hadn’t realised the conversation in his head hadn’t happened in real life. After that I stayed single for a while, did the casual Tinder thing, but it just made me hate myself. And then I met Mark who I was crazy about for two years until he went back to his wife.’

‘Fucking hell. How do you remember all this?’

‘Kelly and I each made a list a few years back, which we then set fire to.’

Jamie stared into the flames thoughtfully, saying nothing.

‘OK, what about you?’ asked Emily, folding her arms.

He pulled a face like he’d rather not go there, but Emily stared him down until he gave in. ‘Fine, OK. I went to an all-boys school and I was shy and spotty, so no joy there. Went out with a few girls at agricultural college, but nothing serious. I’ve never been hugely confident with women and am not the casual-sex type, so no Tinder dates or flings with the stable girls. One serious relationship before Louisa. In both cases the issue was . . . this place.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘The girlfriend I had before Louisa, her name was Naomi. Worked in TV, really smart and beautiful. They filmed a period drama here; it gets used as a TV location quite a lot. Anyway, she was here for ages and we started seeing each other. Then she was off filming for weeks at a time. She wanted me to go with her, but this place is my priority. The horses, the estate, the house, they’re important to me. She called Bowford ‘my other woman’.

Emily nodded but said nothing.

‘Louisa went the same way, wanting me to live in London. But it’s not my scene, it’s all parties and beautiful people. My mother’s place in LA is just as bad – I’ve been to visit and it’s awful. Don’t get me wrong, I love getting away from here sometimes, seeing new places and having fun. But I need to be able to be myself, which is a bit quiet and serious sometimes. I don’t fit in anywhere else. Not the way I fit in here.’

‘So out of all of those, how many times have you been dumped, and how many times have you been the dumper?’

Jamie thought about it, then dropped his gaze to the fire. ‘I’ve always been the dumper.’

‘My point exactly,’ said Emily, finishing her champagne. ‘Men like you do the dumping, women like me get dumped.’

‘Maybe neither of us has met the right person yet,’ said Jamie, warming to the subject. ‘Maybe we haven’t found the right fit.’

‘I thought this place was the right fit.’

‘It is. But your house at Christmas felt like the right fit too. I hadn’t expected it to, but it did.’

Emily smiled at him, wondering if he realised what a huge compliment that was. ‘They liked you a lot.’

‘Yeah, well. I like you a lot.’

Emily’s stomach swooped as his eyes met hers. She swallowed. ‘Why?’ she asked. ‘I’m nothing special.’

Jamie laughed. ‘Oh, is it ego hour? Fine, I’ll play along. You’re beautiful, but you have no idea. Do you know how rare that is? And you’re kind. I heard about how gently you let Leon down. He told Sam and Sam told me, there aren’t many secrets in this place. That poor guy is crazy about you.’

‘But that’s the problem, isn’t it?’ she replied. ‘There are no secrets in this place. If we start seeing each other on the quiet, eventually we’ll get caught. And if your dad finds out about it, I might have to leave. That’s the worst possible outcome for me, I can’t risk it.’

Jamie nodded, then shrugged. ‘So maybe I should ask him.’

Emily laughed, then realised he was serious. ‘What, like asking his permission?’

‘Sure, why not? Just hypothetically.’ He made quote marks with his fingers. ‘“Would you have a problem if I asked your assistant out on a date, I really like her.” He doesn’t need to know I’ve already kissed you on a cold beach.’