Page 42 of Bear My Heart

Shanti was silent a long time before saying, "You mean I'm trying to bring my grandparents with me," very quietly.

"Yeah," he whispered. "Yeah, I think maybe you are, in a way. If you bring all of this with you, you'll know you'll see it again, even if you can't see them again."

"That makes sense." She turned her face against his chest and eventually sighed. "Yeah. That makes sense. Okay. I think I can probably pack now."

Peter chuckled and glanced over the living room. "And maybe I'll tidy up?"

"That would be so nice of you," she mumbled. "I don't know when I'm coming back here, but it'd be nice to not come back to a disaster area."

"Nothing's a disaster with you at its heart," he promised. She snorted a happy-sounding disagreement, and after a soft, slow kiss, crawled out of his lap to pack her bags. Pete got up to tidy after her, and by morning, they were ready to go.

CHAPTER 21

There was nothing in the world as exciting as a train, Shanti thought. Nothing except getting on that train with Peter, both of them holding hands tightly like they were stepping off the edge of the world together.

The station's opening ceremony had been full of noise and joy and celebration. She'd seen Luke and his architect girlfriend Sabrina, and had, to her surprise, been greeted by Jake and Mabs, and it felt like half the town had crowded out onto the platform to actually cheer her as she stepped onto the old-fashioned train with Pete. In a way, the steam train made it feel as if they really were stepping off the edge of the world, too. The whole interior was gorgeously refurbished in shining wood and velvet seats and big old-fashioned windows that, she noticed immediately, leaked cold air in ways that a modern train wouldn't. She had gotten first-class tickets that meant access to a dining car that made them both giggle as they walked through it.

"It looks like a movie," Shanti whispered to Pete, who nodded enthusiastically. There were beautiful tables with delicate flower vases that a quick inspection showed clicked into place so they wouldn't slide around. The attractive napkins, wrapped around silverware, were also held in place by bands that looked, at first glance, as if they were just decorative. There were grooves for the plates and cups to sit in, and Shanti couldn't help saying, "It's all so clever!" like she'd just made a discovery for the whole world.

"It's great," Peter whispered back.

There were people already eating—Virtue wasn't the train's first stop—and many of them grinned at Shanti and Peter like they, too, were having the time of their lives. It all had a feeling of childish delight, in the very best way. Peter put their luggage up when they got to their carriage, and they sat in a lush, comfortable booth that was nothing like any train Shanti had ever been on. People on the platform waved vigorously, and Shanti, beaming, waved back as the conductor warned that the train was about to start moving, and it suddenly lurched into motion.

Overwhelming emotion rose in Shanti's chest, taking her breath away. Peter, who always seemed sensitive to her moods, slipped an arm around her shoulders, and she buried her face against his warmth for a moment before looking up so she could watch Virtue slip away and the world begin to appear. Snowy hills, cut by the river's dark streak, had never looked so beautiful or enticing as they did under the slowly-increasing speed of the steam train, which swayed and jostled in a way more modern trains didn't. Puffs of smoke rushed by occasionally, blurring the whiteness of the snow outside, and voices carried happiness through the carriage.

After several minutes, the conductor's voice came over what was obviously a modern intercom system, explaining that this was an old, slow train, and inviting passengers to make themselves comfortable. Shanti and Peter, nearly giggling again with excitement, went back to the dining carriage and ate a luxurious meal that was heightened by their delight by the whole thing. "I feel like I'm on the Orient Express or something," Peter admitted. "I know that's supposed to be much fancier, but still!"

"Right?" Shanti beamed at him. "Thank you for coming with me."

"Hah! Thank you for getting me a ticket! This is incredible!" Peter, like Shanti and many of the other passengers, had dressed up a little for the event, wearing a heavy silk shirt and slacks instead of his usual flannel and jeans. His hair was back in a loose braid woven with threads that matched the shirt, and Shanti thought she could feast her eyes on him forever.

"I feel like someone else," she confessed. "All of a sudden I feel like I could be the person I wish I was. I don't think I ever could have gotten there without you."

"I think you probably don't give yourself enough credit, but I'm glad to help," Peter said, suddenly more serious. "Don't think you're not changing my life, too, Shanti. Not just fate, but…I'm happy working on railroads. I'll keep doing it. But it's not a life that keeps me in one place, or gives me a reason to come home again. I'm suddenly realizing that some part of me was hoping to find a reason to make a home somewhere. Whether that's in Virtue or Shkalnik. Or Kathmandu!"

Shanti laughed and shook her head. "I'm glad to give you a reason to make a home, but probably not Kathmandu. I'd love to bring you to visit, but it's a big city and I like living in small towns."

"Small towns are one thing. Shkalnik might be something else. It's one thing to live in a small town you can drive out of, but if you have to fly or take a boat…" Peter shook his head, though he didn't look very worried. "We'll see what you think."

"I admit I can't actually imagine not being able to drive out. That's…" Shanti paused, looking for a suitable word, and ended up with, "…weird," which made Peter laugh.

"Yeah, it kind of is. It was normal for me growing up, but I now understand that it's weird, at least."

"Well, I can't wait to see your normal."

Shanti had looked up photographs of Shkalnik, but nothing could have prepared her for…well, first for flying into Juneau, where the mountains came closer and closer to the plane's wings until it dropped suddenly, banked hard, and landed both abruptly and with incredible smoothness. Shanti sat with her hands clenched around the seat's armrests, eyes wide as other, apparently regular passengers on this flight, laughed and applauded and called compliments to the pilot for the landing. As she peeled her fingers free, Shanti said, "Is that normal?" and Peter made an airy gesture.

"No, a lot of the time there's more wind and the landing is rougher."

Shanti squeaked. "You always fly right between mountains? Is it like that everywhere in Alaska?"

"It's much worse in Kodiak," Peter said cheerfully.

"Then I'm never going to Kodiak!"

He blinked at her, then chuckled. "You get used to it. The Shkalnik airport is less scary, if that helps?"

Shanti relaxed with a long exhalation. "Okay. Good."