Page 35 of Crowned In Sin

If the prince will have me, once he knows everything.

I think he will.

I hope he will.

I am thinking about him when I hear my father mention the prince.

“What did you say, Father?”

He blinks at me, looking away from his conversation with a nobleman who has taken the prince’s seat at his right hand for this evening’s dinner. “Pardon me, Cora?”

“What did you say about the prince? I thought I heard—” I blush, hoping to seem like a young woman with a crush on a handsome man and not a woman hiding a secret lover and a secret encounter with said prince. “I thought I heard you mention him.”

“No, daughter. I was telling Sir Davin about Prince Nathaniel from one of the western kingdoms and the dilemma he’s caused.”

“My apologies, Father. I shouldn’t have interrupted. I’ll excuse myself now.”

The two men at the table stand when I do. I bow my head in respect and take my leave. Alice and Blanche are at my side as soon as I step out of the great hall.

“I’ll retire early tonight,” I say, and I see them exchange worried looks out of the corner of my eye. “I am well. I just need to rest.”

Judging by their expressions and lack of further questions, they don’t believe a word I’ve said. Not only am I a liar, I’m a poor liar.

They fuss over me for quite some time. It is truly too early to go to bed—the sun has not even come close to setting—but I need silence to be able to think. I let them help me change for bed, then pace in slow circles around my rooms.

I have plenty of time before the man in the shadows arrives. He will not come to me before the sun has set—I know that for sure.

It seems as though I pace forever. I cannot focus on a book long enough for the time to pass. I try to write letters, but those, too, will not stick in my mind long enough to finish one. I try a few sketches, but lose my sense of what I am attempting to draw.

The sun sets more slowly than I’ve ever seen it.

Afterward, the castle seems to take even longer to quiet. It seems as if they are trying to draw me out with this noise or that one, and I admit that I am tempted, several times, to go out into the halls and find out what has caused so much chatter.

But it is only my mind trying to distract me. I am sure it is simply everyone enjoying the longer days. There will be a festival for the solstice soon, and as it gets closer, people get into a lighter mood. Usually I am one of them, but this year, there are too many situations at hand.

Situations that I have created.

This is what it feels like to be in control of my life, I suppose. It is exhilarating at first, and a woman could become intoxicated by that feeling.

But there are always consequences. Even if you are a princess.

This time, I go to the balcony as soon as it is dark out and wait there. I will not go to my bed. I will not fall asleep.

I wait for him for quite some time, but then there are footsteps inside my rooms.

I go in to find him already there, in the far corner. The first question that springs to my mind is how did you get in here?

He could have walked in through the door. He could have known I would try to find him on the balcony and walked in from the hall.

Were there enough shadows to stay hidden?

These are not the questions that most need to be answered. The shock doesn’t last long. My heart races and I swallow thickly knowing what must be done.

When I take a step toward him, he retreats farther into the shadows. My heart aches. I do not wish to end things without ever knowing my lover’s name.

“Come closer,” I say, in my firmest tone although it still breaks. The agony of what must be done lingers in my chest. “I want to see your face.”

He does not move for several beats. I’m beginning to think he will not move at all when he takes one quiet step, then another, and then another, until he is standing in the low light from one of the sconces.