Page 42 of Too Broken to Love

“Yeah, so I’d get pissed and not all weepy. He was good at distraction.” Hudson looked up at the stars. “Well played, old man. Well played.”

She slowly folded Sam’s last words and slipped the pages back in the envelope. “Did it work? Are you distracted?”

He lifted the letter from Tessa’s fingers and pressed it against his heart. “This ache, it’s visceral. It hurts and burns, and there’s not a goddamn thing I learned in medical school to make it go away. And all the things I needed to tell Pop are like an ocean’s worth of salt in a wound the size of a volcano I don’t think will ever heal.”

Wetness gleamed in her eyes as she touched the envelope he held against his heart.

He dragged a hand over his face. “I can lead a Naval field hospital in the middle of a war zone. Make life or death decisions without hesitation while the world burns around me, but dammit, I was counting on Pop’s advice to help me figure out some shit.”

She blinked back tears, but like the tides that couldn’t be harnessed, fat droplets rolled down her cheeks. The shake of her shoulders broadened the chasm in his heart.

“I’m so sorry, Hudson. I only knew Sam for a short time, and I can’t breathe without him. He was your grandfather. The depths of my grief must be shallow compared to yours.”

“Hey.” He reached out and caught a tear with his thumb. “Pop’s letter taught us that time has nothing to do with how much you love someone. He fell for Ruby after only a few weeks. Don’t you dare downplay what you felt for him, or what he felt for you based on a calendar.”

She nodded. “You’re right, but I’m still sorry.”

“I was jealous. I’m not anymore, but I was when I found out about you.” His confession came out sharper than he’d intended. He leaned forward and traced the curve of her jaw with his fingertip to temper his tone. “Everything you shared with Pop this past year reminded me of what I missed. I regret not finding the time to see him, but that’s my issue, not yours.”

“You know that he supported every one of your decisions, right?”

“I know. The last time I talked to him he said he was proud of me.” Hudson shook off the burning shroud from that night and clung to the sound of Pop’s voice. “He said when I came home he wanted me to meet you because you’d become special to him and that—" He clamped a hand on her thigh. “I just remembered something.”

“What?”

“He said he had some things to tell me when I got home.” Regret clanged in his brain as loud as the radio that had cut off what Pop had been about to say.

She leaned closer. “Tell you what?”

“I don’t know. I got called to an emergency and we didn’t finish the conversation. I got the feeling it was important. Maybe he wanted to tell me he’d changed his will.”

“He never mentioned anything about the will to me, but he’d been acting funny for weeks. I think he was—” Her lips lifted at the corners.

He hooked a finger under her chin. “He was what?”

Sunshine peeked through her watery smile. The rays shot warmth to a place deep inside him even the heat lamps couldn’t penetrate.

“Sam was excited to introduce us. He invited me here dozens of times, but I always said no.”

“Why? Place not grand enough for you?”

She jabbed him in the arm. “Shut up.” She sobered from her laugh quickly. “I was afraid Frank would somehow know and show up and ruin everything. But I planned to say yes when you came home. I would have done anything to make Sam happy, except let him choose my fishing lure.”

“I know. He always used the same rusty ones, and when he caught a whopper, he’d say, ‘told you so.’”

“And he always gave away his new lures to strangers at the pier.” She sat up straighter. “Who’s going to teach the tourists how to fish now?”

“That’s their problem. I’ll miss fishing on the beach with just him. Most of the advice he gave me was when we had poles in our hands and eyes on the water.”

They stared toward the inky ocean they couldn't see, but could still hear.

“Tessa.”

“Yes.” She smiled into the darkness.

He didn’t turn her way either. “Were you excited? To meet me?”

Everything inside him stilled and simultaneously rioted as he held his breath.