Page 161 of Seale the Deal

I look at Remi. Her jaw is dropped, and she’s looking in disbelief.

Jeez, she wants you more than the US government wanted proof your relationship was real, she says.

I let out a true laugh at that, then look back at the email and sigh.

So? Remi asks. What do you think? Are we going to a wedding, or am I taking you to Anchorage to catch a plane?

I smile, because without a doubt in my mind, I know the answer.

Chapter 35

Ruger

WEDDING DAY… MAYBE

Stupid.

I’m so damn stupid.

Who gives someone a timeline on forever? Who looks the woman he loves in the eye and says, You need to figure this out, and I’ll be here when you do?

I drag a hand down my face, pressing my fingers into my temples until my skull throbs. Why didn’t I just let the ninety days run out? We could’ve just done the civil ceremony, and I wouldn’t be in this room in this stupid suit that’s mocking me. Just because the job offer had a two-week time limit on it didn’t mean we did.

My reflection in the mirror doesn’t even look like me. My eyes are bloodshot. My shirt clings like a prison. The camo tie feels like it’s strangling me. My chest is tight, my hands tingling. I clench and unclench them, pacing the length of the room like a caged animal.

Nothing feels right without her here.

And I haven’t heard a single word from her. That’s on me. I told her to think. To take the time she needed. I told myself it was noble, letting her choose freely. But right now, it feels like I handed her the perfect exit ramp.

A knock. My heart rockets into my throat.

Come in, I say, too fast, too desperate.

The door creaks open achingly slow.

Not her.

Walter steps in, eyes soft. How you feeling, Ruger?

I laugh once, bitter. Not great.

He nods like he expected that. It’s going to be okay.

My jaw tightens. Have you seen her?

No.

The single syllable slices through me.

I could run. Lace up my boots, disappear into the woods, pretend none of this was real. But I promised her. I promised her I’d be at the end of the aisle, no matter what.

Another knock. My pulse spikes again.

Only Brandt.

Hey, guys. He jerks a thumb over his shoulder. Just spoke with Drew. Everyone’s seated. It’s time.

Is she here? My voice cracks.