Page 125 of Seale the Deal

As a seamstress, I know there are times when something is too damaged to save. Sometimes the fabric is threadbare or the tear too large. Sometimes something new is the only option. But sometimes a garment just needs a little patience and a careful hand. A willingness to sit down and do the work of putting it back together.

And maybe that’s what I need to give myself right now. A little patience and a willingness to take the time to decide. To stop treating my future like a garment that needs to be finished immediately and allow myself the space to keep stitching, one piece at a time, until the pattern becomes clear.

I finally let myself smile.

That’s better, Audrey says.

Thanks, I reply, and mean it.

She nods toward the machine. I’d better get back to mending. And you’ve got a pile of your own.

Lunch later? I ask.

I’ll buy.

We go our separate ways, and though Audrey stitched me back together a little, I can’t change the fact that eventually, I will have to stop pinning pieces together and decide whether I’m ready to sew the final seam.

Chapter 25

Ruger

DAYS LEFT ON VISA: 43

I spent most of yesterday and last night thinking about Remi’s reaction to finding out Wrenley and I slept together. Okay, maybe not all night. There were a few hours that made sustained contemplation difficult. But before and after, I found myself replaying it all in my mind.

I always assumed that by now, Remi would be over what happened between Aurora and me. In my mind, enough time had passed that it belonged firmly in the past. Aurora and I broke up, she left Alaska, life moved on. At least that’s how I look at it now.

But I realize I never stopped to consider it from Remi’s perspective. Aurora was one of Remi’s closest friends, and she didn’t just leave Alaska; she left completely. I’m sure it confused Remi because she never picked sides. She heard us both out, validated us both. Yet somehow, she lost the most.

So I can see why this worries her. She’s afraid that if we don’t work, then Wrenley will leave too.

I know it should make me pause, but I can’t bring myself to. Maybe that makes me selfish, but the idea of walking away from Wrenley now feels worse than the possibility of getting hurt later. At least this way, we’re being honest about what we want and giving this a chance. Right now, I will take whatever she’s willing to give because if this is all I get, then I’m going to hold on to it for as long as possible.

But today, I decided I was done borrowing trouble from the future.

Today, Wrenley and I are free from work. Brandt is in town, and Remi can be convinced to join any activity with the promise of food afterward. That seems like enough of a reason to get outside. So I decided what we need is a good hike.

The gravel crunches beneath my boots as I climb out of my truck. The air is sharp with the tang of pine. The trailhead sign sways precariously on the post as a breeze pushes through, and I take in a deep breath.

This is what I love. The way the mountains seem to stretch forever, unbothered by the drama that is consuming the people living beneath them. The endless trails to follow and get lost on. The summits that can be reached. Out here, the problems have solutions, and the challenges can be met with preparation and a level of stubbornness.

I can’t believe you convinced me to do this, Wrenley says as she walks around the back of the truck.

I open the back door and pull out two backpacks I prepared, handing one to her. Can’t come to Alaska without some hiking.

She takes the bag. I was warned about hiking with you.

I wave her off. I promise this is a beginner trail.

Wrenley walks around in a small circle before looking at me again. So this is it, eh? The great Alaskan wilderness?

My mouth tips at one corner. This is the parking lot.

Right. But beyond this parking lot is certain death.

Highly probable for you, I say, deadpan.

She playfully swats my arm, but all it does is earn her a trip straight into my arms. I catch her around the waist and tug her against me. Her laugh catches in her throat as she lands against my chest, and I grin down at her. Sunlight catches in her beautiful eyes, and I find myself wondering, not for the first time, how I got so lucky.