Page 123 of Seale the Deal

She thinks we’re headed toward the same ending.

Ruger nods but doesn’t say anything.

Are we? I ask.

I don’t know, he answers honestly. I think all we can do is what we’re doing. Be honest with each other. Be honest about what we want when we know what that is.

I bite my lower lip. I know he’s right, but it doesn’t feel like enough.

He takes a step toward me. I don’t know what our lives look like a year from now. I don’t know if we’ll figure everything out or if we’re heading toward a wall we can’t see yet.

A knot forms in my throat as he keeps walking toward me.

But I know how I feel about you, he continues. And I know pretending that doesn’t exist isn’t going to make any of this easier.

He stops in front of me, and there’s barely any space between us.

My heart thumps hard against my chest as I look up at him. On the one hand, the fear Remi planted in my mind is still there, lingering on the edges of my thoughts. On the other is the man standing in front of me, refusing to make promises he can’t keep, and that level of honesty means everything to me. I can’t walk away from that.

Not yet.

I know how I feel about you too, I whisper.

Good, he murmurs, then leans down and plants a kiss on my lips.

The moment his lips touch mine, I find myself settling a little. The doubts and questions are still there, but I know I’m not carrying them alone. I wrap my arms around his neck, needing the solid warmth of him, his familiar woodsy smell. Mostly, though, I just need him. Here in his arms, feeling the beat of his heart against my chest and the way he folds into me like there’s nowhere else he’d rather be, I can’t bring myself to regret any of it. Whatever decisions wait for us down the road don’t belong in this moment. This moment belongs to us, and I let myself stop worrying about the future long enough to simply hold on.

A horn honks outside, breaking us from our kiss. I laugh softly and let my forehead rest against Ruger’s.

That’s probably Remi, I say. She’s waiting for me.

Ruger tips my chin up and brushes one last kiss across my lips, soft and lingering enough to make my heart squeeze.

Get out of here, he says playfully.

As I head for the door, I look back over my shoulder. Ruger is still standing in the kitchen, watching me.

I’ll see you later.

Count on it.

The sound of a sewing machine hums through the shop as I step inside. Audrey’s head of curls peeks over the partition.

Coffee with Remi was nice. We didn’t solve anything from this morning; we left all that in the truck outside Ruger’s house. Everything that can be said has been, so why keep going? Instead, we talked about her latest manuscript and how her editor counted forty separate uses of the word growl in one sex scene. Remi spent a solid five minutes defending herself and asking when men growling during sex became a bad thing. Then I pointed out that men actually mostly narrate, like feels so good and come here and holy shit. We broke into a fit of hysterics that had pretty much everyone in Walter’s coffee shop looking at us.

It was nice going back to us, but the worries never truly disappeared. They just loosened their grip enough to remind us not every conversation has to be about fixing problems.

But now that I’m in the shop and don’t have Remi to distract me, everything is coming back in full force, and I feel pressure to make a choice.

Are you okay? Audrey’s voice makes me jump.

Oops, she chuckles. Sorry about that.

I shake my head. All good. And yeah, I’m okay.

She tilts her head. Really?

My lips press together. Where do I even begin?