Page 70 of For the Love of Art

“I would never.”

I giggled before popping a piece of cheese in my mouth—the light and creamy cheese paired perfectly with Nathan's chosen drink. I didn’t feel surprised, of course. Pairing drinks and cheese felt very Nathan, and I liked it.

The sun set as we ate—hues of pink and purple beautifully surrounded the sun.

“This is incredible.” I wiped my hands on one of the fabric napkins he provided. My stomach was so full it felt like it might burst. “Thank you for this and–” I stopped. I wanted to thank him for the plane, but I immediately felt embarrassed thinking about the flight attendant. Of course, now, as I looked at Nathan’s soft and sweet eyes, I couldn’t help but feel grateful that things felt normal between us, so I finished the sentence, “The plane.”

“You’re welcome.”

His features dropped, and before I could stop the words, I asked, “What’s wrong?”

The corner of Nathan’s mouth twitched. “Nothing. You done eating?”

I nodded.

Nathan covered the cheese platter and then placed it back in the basket.

“Hey.” I covered his hand with mine.

Nathan closed his eyes, and his jaw clenched. He didn’t move away from my touch, but his breathing was heavier, and he looked pained.

“Talk to me,” I begged.

There was no change in his demeanor.

“Was this a date?” I whispered.

Nathan finally looked at me. “You don’t want to date me.”

He pulled his hand from mine and went back to packing the basket.

“Don’t and can’t mean two different things.” I hugged myself. “The problem isn’t that I don’t want to; it’s that I can’t.” I felt tears sting the back of my eyes as I thought about how badly in this moment, I wished I could fall into his embrace and give in to my feelings.

“Because I’m New York’s playboy.” Nathan shook his head.

“I’m getting divorced from a man who couldn’t be faithful. How am I supposed to jump into a relationship with someone who has said he doesn’t want to settle down?”

“Jesus.” Nathan ran his fingers through his hair.

“Things between us haven’t gone how you wanted, and suddenly, you’re bringing Gloria around,” I said. It felt like someone was wringing my heart when I thought about her.

“Do you really know why I was there with her?” Nathan asked, clearly annoyed we were talking about this.

“Oh, come on! I said, ‘Go back to your date,’ and you didn’t deny it was one.” I wasn’t afraid to meet his challenge. “You fucked her. That’s what you do, Nathan. Honestly, it’s none of my business. I’m just your employee, but I can’t be in a relationship with someone who fixes his problems with sex. What happens when we fight?”

“I didn’t fuck her,” Nathan said so quietly I barely made out the words.

“What?”

Nathan’s eyes met mine, and my breath hitched. “I didn’t sleep with Gloria that night.”

Again, I said, “What?”

“You’re right. It’s none of your business, but if you’re going to pry, I haven’t had sex since you walked into my gallery because no matter where I am, no matter who I’m with, all I can think about is you,” Nathan said in the most serious tone I’d ever heard him speak in. “You are the only woman I want in my bed, and your pussy is the only place I want to put my cock. I don’t want you for just one night either. I want you every fucking night, and my bed has never felt so lonely. So, now that we’ve established that, I’d like you never to bring up who New York sees me as because it’s quite clear when it comes to you that I am not that man.”

I didn’t know what to say.

“We should go.” Nathan stood up. “It’s getting dark.”