Page 223 of I Never Stopped Loving You

“Take me into your darkness. Drown me in it. Please, Noah. I want it all,” I beg.

“Oh, Little Rabbit.” There is an almost reverent tone to his voice when he says this. “I don’t think you understand how deep my darkness truly is.”

“Then show me,” I blurt out, begging him to touch me, kiss me, do anything.

Within a breath, he’s there covering my body with his. His hand cups my face as he kisses my lips then each cheek before ending on my neck.

“It’s not going to drown you, Little Rabbit. You have a darkness of your own. I know you do. I felt it that night in my truck. Your darkness calls to mine.”

He kisses the dip in my collarbone before letting his teeth graze against my skin. Goosebumps follow his lips as he continues to move down my body.

“I want to taste your darkness, Little Rabbit. I want you to embrace it. Tell me what you want.”

My mind runs through over a hundred different things I could want in a matter of seconds, but the one thing I keep focusing on is that knife. That fucking knife. Being tied up completely at his mercy, and letting him use that knife on me was one of the most sensual, erotic, and pleasurable things to ever happen to me. I felt almost ashamed while we were doing it, but then I remembered what he said.

Just let go, Willow. Accept it.

“I want you to use your knife again,” I beg, and I can feel his lips curl into a devilish smile against my skin.

It feels like an electric current running all over my body. Each brush of his fingertips or breath against my skin is causing a jolt of pleasure to run down to my clit. I’ve never wanted to give in to the dark thoughts I’ve had during sex because I was afraid of being judged. It’s always just been normal ‘vanilla’ sex. Nothing crazy. Nothing exciting…Not until Noah.

He knows what I truly want, the deep-down desires. He’s known them even before I was brave enough to accept them. I want to explore every dark fantasy I’ve thought of in the past while having to pleasure myself after the guy that I was dating left. And I want to do everything with him.

He kisses back up my body before kissing my lips, drawing out every last breath I have before breaking away.

“Remember your safe word, Little Rabbit. You’re going to need it.”

CHAPTER 95

NOAH

Iplace one last kiss against her lips, feeling that slight tremble in her lip before getting off the bed and grabbing the other things from my bag. I brought a certain toy that I think she’s really going to like. I pull out the small black rose vibrator and set it on the bed then the black strap I had custom-made to secure it in place. I just have to remove something first.

I reach into the bottom of the bag and grip onto the cold steel handle of my knife. Not just any one of my knives from my collection. No. This is my favorite knife. The one that nearly took my life that horrible night. It took a lot of bribing to get it back from the police and out of evidence, but I did it.

I’ve had it in the labyrinth for over a month now. Some nights when I can’t sleep, I still go down there. I walk those tunnels thinking of that night over and over again. Replaying every second, wondering how it went wrong so fucking fast. I don’t understand how he was able to trick me for so long.

That knife has sat on the table next to the other tools. The blade was still stained with my blood. It was smeared from the samples they took from it when trying to pull prints, but the dark crimson stain still remained. When the paperwork was finalized for this house, I decided I wanted to christen it. I also wanted to replace the bad memory of my favorite knife with a new one… One that we both could enjoy.

I didn’t expect her to accept her darkness so quickly. I knew that night in the truck was a lot for her, emotionally and physically. She surrendered herself to me, and I will always be grateful that she did because it showed me that I could trust her with my darkness, because there was one hidden within her. She just didn’t know it yet.

“Noah?” she asks hesitantly, snapping me out of the daze I was in while staring at the freshly cleaned and polished steel.

I made sure to clean every trace of that night from its blade and handle. I sharpened it and made it gleam. Tonight is about letting go of the past, moving forward, and fully starting our lives together. As I glance around the room, I truly believe we can build our future here.

“I’m still here. I didn’t leave you.”

“It was just so quiet…” Her voice trails off as if she’s starting to get nervous.

“I’m right here. I was just thinking,” I say as I climb back onto the bed between her legs, knife in hand.

“What were you thinking about?” she asks.

“No more talking, unless you’re screaming my name.”

I watch her bite her lower lip and smirk. I can tell she wanted to roll her eyes just then, but she didn’t. She’s learning that I can read her body better than anyone.

Glancing down at the knife in my hand, I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. I still get a wave of nausea from looking at it. Remembering the way that only the handle and a small part of the blade could be seen protruding from my stomach. The feeling of it inside me as it shifted with each move I made.