Page 190 of I Never Stopped Loving You

He's killed others. How many others?

“You think that’s a reason? Some vigilante justice? Fucking pathetic. No, Noah. I want the real reason you’ve killed all these years. Don’t try to make yourself look like the hero here. I heard you after that fucker Rayes died. You screamed in agony. Why? Was it because you didn’t get the rush from the chase? Didn’t get to spill enough of his blood to satisfy that inner craving? You’re a killer, Noah. A fucking monster. And you know what? I think you like it. You like ending their lives. You like watching the light fade from their eyes as they stare into the dark, soulless abyss. You may kill me, boy, or she might do it, but mark my words, I will haunt you for the rest of your fucking life until you take your last breath. I will still be the nightmare that lives in her mind. But I’ll be right next to you, forever. She won’t be able to accept you, Killer. She won’t ever be able to love the monster inside of you.”

“Shut up!” Noah screams, causing my knees to buckle and my body to nearly drop to the floor.

I need to see him to know that this is real. That this isn’t just some fucked up dream. No, that’s it. I’m still upstairs in Noah’s bed. Asleep. I’m in the middle of a fucking nightmare because there’s no Goddamn way that he…

As I slowly step out from behind the wall, clinging to it just to hold myself up, I lock eyes with the monster that has haunted my nightmares for the last fifteen fucking years.

James Parker.

My father.

He looks so different now, and not only because it looks like Noah has been beating him for who knows how long. His mouth twists into a sickening grin as he looks at me. His eyes trail over my body as if he’s not sure if this is real or just a figment of his imagination. A raspy, throaty laugh bubbles from inside him as he looks past Noah and straight into my soul. Those eyes. Those fucking eyes that I would scan the crowds for, just praying he hadn’t found me. I will never forget those eyes.

Noah’s back is still to me, but I can see his shoulders start to straighten as my father continues to laugh. His hands are bound behind his back, and bruises and cuts are covering his body. His clothes are dingy and covered in blood and whatever other disgusting matter comes out of him.

I need to get out of here. I can’t…This can’t be real.

I take a slow step back trying to sink into the shadows once more. My damp socks make a soft squish noise as I step into a puddle. My father’s glare turns back to Noah for a split second before his eyes lock with mine.

“Hello, daughter.”

My fingers grip onto the brick wall, nails digging into the crumbling mortar. I can feel the sting of pain as my nails pull back. My entire body is shaking. I think I’m going to be sick.

Noah turns, finally facing me. His muscles are corded and flexed. The tension in his jaw is evident from the veins in his neck. Those dark irises that I love are nearly pitch black down here. He looks crazed…like a monster. When he looks at me though, everything seems to calm.

His shoulders lower and his eyes go wide as he stares at me.

“Willow…” he starts, but I quickly cut him off.

“What is this, Noah? And I want the truth. Now,” I snap, some minuscule drop of strength still lingering in my voice when really I want to crumble into a heap on this floor.

He glances back at my father, who’s merely sitting there, bound to the chair, watching this play out like a reality TV show right in front of him. He’s getting sick pleasure out of this, I can tell. How long has he been down here?

Noah hesitantly looks back at me. I can feel the pain radiating off of him. I can see it in his eyes. He wasn’t ready to tell me yet, but he wanted to. He said he would always protect me, that he would never hurt me.

He takes a step closer reaching out his hand, and I can’t help my body’s involuntary response as I take a step back. He stops, frozen in place with his hand outstretched toward me.

“Please, Little Rabbit. Just let me explain,” he begs.

My mind is screaming to run, but my heart is screaming to stay. To trust him.

“Little Rabbit?” my father cackles from behind him. “Such a fitting name for such a pathetic little creature. Have you missed me, Willow? Have you missed your daddy all these years?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Noah shouts, and my body recoils putting me another step further from him. “Don’t fucking speak to her.”

“I’ve missed you, Willow. I searched for you, you know, but they kept you hidden from me…Do you remember that night, baby?” his voice slithers across the room wrapping around my throat and pulling me closer.

“Stop,” I whimper, but my voice barely makes a sound.

“Do you remember stabbing me in the fucking leg? Do you remember what you did?”

“No. This isn’t real…” I whisper as the tears begin to fall and the memory comes flooding back again.

Over and over, I’ve had to relive this in my nightmares, but now the monster is here, right in front of me.

“Do you remember the sounds as I killed her? I thought I killed you, too. I thought the knife went straight through her and into you.”