Page 179 of I Never Stopped Loving You

Whatever. It doesn’t matter anymore.

“Noah. What the fuck is this?” he shouts down the steps, but I don’t bother answering.

He can clearly see what it is. My clothing is soaked in blood. My mirror is shattered from punching a fist through it. Glass is scattered around the bathroom, with smears of mine and Rayes’s blood along the counter and floor. It’s a bloodbath up there.

“Noah,” Jeremy says softly as he walks back into the kitchen.

I can smell the coppery tang of dried blood, so I can only assume he’s holding one of my blood-soaked clothes from last night. Stupid. I should’ve disposed of it like I always do. I should’ve disposed of the body.

“I got into a fight,” I say as I lift my head and glance at him, finding him holding my hoodie.

The hoodie is black, so the blood can hardly be seen soaked into the dark fabric, but I’m assuming he spotted the blood on the jeans or what seeped off the clothes and puddled onto the floor.

“A fight? With who?”

“A piece of shit who hurt his wife,” I respond calmly. It’s not a lie.

I pick up my coffee cup and walk to the sink then dump it down the drain before rinsing the cup. I pull open the dishwasher and place it on the top rack. When I close it and turn around, Jeremy is right there looking me over.

“Let me see your hand,” he says, holding out his.

I lift my left hand, but he shakes his head and gestures to my right hand. The one that is balled up and wrapped in a towel. I let out an exasperated sigh as I lift my hand to him. He drops the hoodie to the ground and quickly unwraps the towel.

“Noah…Jesus fucking Christ. What did you do?”

“Punched the mirror. Wasn’t it obvious?” I say with a small chuckle, but I can tell from the way he is looking at me that I’m not getting out of this one easily.

He’s let me live with my demons, never pressuring me to reveal them or the things I do to satiate them, but right now I can tell from the way he keeps looking from my eyes to my hand that might change.

“No, Noah. What did you do? This is more blood than just a fight. Did you…”

“Did I what, Remy?”

“Did you kill someone?”

Silence. That’s all I can give him.

If I don’t tell him, then he can never be considered an accomplice or be burdened with the truth of what I really am. He stares at me for a long time before looking back down at my clenched fist. Small shards of glass that are still embedded in my flesh can be seen as the light catches on them.

“Noah?”

“Jeremy, I’m only going to say this one time…Don’t ask me any more questions about last night.”

“But…” he starts, but I shake my head slowly as I pull my hand away.

“No, Jeremy. Not today. Not ever.”

He glances one last time at my hand before closing his eyes and shaking his head.

“Fine. But can you at least answer one thing?” he asks as he looks at me.

I stare at him for a moment before nodding.

“Are you okay?”

“Honestly? Not really. But I will be,” I answer as truthfully as I can. I can at least give him that.

“Okay. Well, let’s get that glass out of your hand and get your room cleaned up.”