Page 138 of I Never Stopped Loving You

Maybe she hid when whatever was going on happened.

I tiptoe through the house, checking all of her normal hiding spots upstairs before going down the steps to the front room. When I look around, my heart starts beating wildly in my chest. There’s blood everywhere. I follow the drops into the kitchen. There’s a large reddish-brown stain on the ground. It’s thick and definitely blood. It can’t be her blood. It just can’t be.

A small white rabbit, now stained a crimson red, lies next to the giant puddle. His face has a bloody shoe print on it. His eye is cracked and his ear is torn.

She left Mr. Snuggles? She wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t just leave him behind.

I fall onto the ground as I start to cry again. I should have run down here when I first heard the police sirens. I should have been here for her.

I should have protected her.

I reach for Mr. Snuggles. I need to get him cleaned up for her. She’ll want him back whenever I find her.

Maybe she’s at the police station.

I try to stand, but I feel dizzy and fall back to the floor. My hand reaches out to catch myself. When I lift my hand from the floor, I can see my bloody handprint from holding Mr. Snuggles next to the puddle. I dropped him when I fell, and he landed back in the blood.

I need to wash him.

I need to fix his ear and his eye.

He needs to be perfect for her.

I pick him up and hold him to my chest as I climb the steps to her room then go back out the window. I’m careful not to get blood anywhere in the house. No one can know I was here.

I hop down from the roof still holding Mr. Snuggles against me. I can’t stop the tears from falling as I look back at her house then down at Mr. Snuggles. He looks so broken. There’s so much blood.

“Don’t worry, Willow. I’ll take care of him until I find you. I promise.”

CHAPTER 63

WILLOW

NOVEMBER PRESENT DAY

Ifeel the once soft fur, now matted and tangled from washing it over and over, just to get it back to a shade close to white. His bow is more of a dark mottled blue now as opposed to the bright blue I’ve always remembered in my dreams. One marble eye has a crack running through it, but you can see the layer of glue sealing it back together.

I run my fingers up his ears and can feel the stitching on the left one. Noah still has me on his lap pulled against his chest as we sit here in silence. He’s letting me process everything, but my mind doesn’t even know what to do.

Should I be mad at him for hiding this from me?

Should I be grateful that he did because he thought it would only cause me harm if he forced the memories to come back?

My entire body sighs against his. I’m both mentally and physically exhausted. It’s been days since I had a good night’s sleep. Sleeping upright in a hospital chair or curled into a hospital bed with him hasn’t been the worst, but my body doesn’t agree.

“Talk to me,” he finally says, breaking the silence.

“I don’t know what to say, Noah,” I answer honestly, because I truly don’t.

It all makes sense now, and yet my mind couldn’t be more confused.

“That’s okay. I just need to know that you’re okay.”

He kisses the top of my head, and I let myself relax against him as I inhale the comforting scent of his cologne.

“I think so. This is just…a lot.”

“I know. When I saw you that day, I swear my heart stopped beating. I knew there was someone named Willow coming to do the interview. I saw your resume and looked you up online. I saw the photos, and even though your last name was different, something inside me felt it was you. The one I’d been searching for all this time. But when I finally saw you in person, I thought I was dreaming.”