Page 145 of Before You Fell

“I don’t think you fucking do.” He steps closer, keeping his voice low enough that the others won’t hear. “I watched her disappear after you acted like a selfish piece of shit. We all did. She walked away from you and ended up in a hospital bed.”

I stare at him.

He doesn’t blink. “She isn’t a habit. She isn’t something you pick up when you feel empty and then throw away the second you get scared.”

The old me would’ve laughed in his face, called him fucking dramatic, told him to mind his own fucking business, and maybe shoved him just because my fists have always been better at talking than my mouth.

But that asshole died the second I looked at Willow lying in that bed and realized the last thing I’d ever said to the girl I loved might’ve been another smart-ass line instead of the truth.

I look past Cruz into the living room and see Willow laughing at something Jax said.

She’s alive. Jesus fucking Christ... she’s actually alive.

“I know what I did, Cruz,” I say quietly. “I fucking know it.”

Cruz waits.

“I’m not doing that to her again,” I say.

His eyes stay locked on mine. “She loved you.”

My chest tightens so fucking much that it hurts to breathe. “I know she did.”

“No,” he says. “You’ve got no fucking clue what it cost her to keep loving you.”

“I fucking know, okay,” I say again, a little angry this time. “And I’m not asking her to trust me because I finally learned how to string a few honest fucking sentences together.”

“So what are you doing?”

“I’m going to earn it.”

He studies me for a long moment. “You sure you know how?”

A humorless laugh slips out. “No.”

I meet his gaze. “But I’m fucking stubborn enough to keep trying until she believes me... or tells me to fuck off.”

That pulls a smirk from Cruz, but there is nothing amused about it.

Still, he sees I’m no longer the egotistical asshole shoving every hard truth down someone’s throat. I am listening. Taking the hit and letting it land.

Cruz studies my face for another long second.

“I fucking hope you do, Phoenix, because I won’t hesitate to kick your ass.” His mouth quirks. “I have a shovel and very flexible morals.”

“Please, you’d last five minutes before digging me back up because Jax got even more annoying.”

A laugh escapes him before he can stop it.

“Yeah. You’re probably right.” Then his face hardens again. “But I mean it, Phoenix. Don’t fuck around.”

When Cruz and I step back into the living room, Jax and Jett are already at it.

Jax stands near the coffee table, a plate in his hand. Jett is on the other side of the table, and both of them glare at each other.

“I was just asking if she wanted food,” Jax says.

“You asked twice,” Jett replies.